Mother want to take a job with 100% travel - FamilyEducation
Mother want to take a job with 100% travel
01/07/2008 at 14:42 PM

My Ex-Wife (who is re-married of 2 years), wants to take a job that will require her to be out of state 100% of the time.  She will be only be in town every other weekend.  I get my daughter every other weekend.  He is a very nice man and we get along great.  But my concern is that will my daughter (6 1/2 years old) have any problems with this?  She is very intellegent and a happy child, but shouldn't a mother be with her daughter more than 4 days a month?  I told my Ex-Wife that I didn't think it was a good idea and she was offended.



Would you be willing to take over custody and care of your daughter? That may be another solution. 



Kids need their parents. It's time to file for a modification of custody. You need to take your daughter fulltime. If Mom is in town every two weeks, that’s when she can have her daughter visit her. If mom takes a vacation, that’s also a great time to be with her daughter. I do not agree with a stepparent having more time with your child than you do. Stepparents have no legal rights to children above the natural parents. Nice man, or not, daughter needs Dad. If custody is changed something can be worked out for paying daycare. Mom can pay child support to help with the new expenses of raising your daughter full time. I would contact an attorney today to get this going.

 Also, you asked "Shouldnt a mother be with her daughter more than four days a month?" I would say no, if that is her choosing, but if mom wants to be away, daughter should be with Dad the rest of the time. I have both my kids fulltime, and wouldnt trade it for the world. I also get child support. Too many Dad's have the attitude that this cannot be done. I went through four lawyers that told me I could not do it. Google your state name and look up "custody modification". This should give you some of the guidelines the state uses. Also most lawyers will meet with you for free for the initial consultation. Good Luck.


4 days a month is an absurdly small amount of time for your ex-wife to spend with her child.  The fact she is even considering a job like this communicates her lack of interest in your child.  You should go for full custody of your child.  I'm sorry you're in such a difficult situation.  


I can't imagine leaving my children behind like that for a job.  I think you should look into getting custody of your daughter if  is what she is going to do.  I'm pretty sure that would definantly be a signifigant change in your situation and the courts would hear you out for a change in custody.  My husbands ex-wife moved out of state and that was enough for the courts to give us full custody of his son.  If you can talk to your wife about turning over the right to be the primary resident for your child since she will be gone 99% of the time.  That way you decide where the child goes to school and make the decisions for her.  It also keeps the mother from being able to take your daughter with her.  Good Luck!!


I don't recommend FULL CUSTODY as suggested here, but a change to shared custody with you as the custodial parent and your ex as the non-custodial parent.  Make sure your ex pays the child support to you per the state guidelines.

Full custody is only for that parent that is unfit.

I can't believe your ex is taking a job that requires that much travel for a child that age - not good unless it is for a very very short period of time and only in the most dire circumstances.

I could make 6 figures if I wanted to travel - there are lots of opportunities in my field.  But, I wouldn't trade money for the stress on my 15 year old daughter!