Top 10 Punishments
08/20/2010 at 11:10 AM

Ok, so my teen & tween love to drive me crazy and on occasion need to be punished. As an evil parent I'm always looking for a punishment that not only works, but fits the crime.

I felt other evil parents might feel the same way, so I'm going to list my top ten (in no particular order) and ask you to list yours(doesn't have to be 10).

1. Take away the cell phone.
2. Take away all other electronics (tv,dvr,psp,dsi,ipod,mp3,etc)
3. Make them clean their room.
4. Make them wash dishes (by hand)
5. Make them read a book.
6. Make them write a letter of apology.
7. Take away make-up & hair straightner.
8. Ground them (no going anywhere but school).
9. Make them perpetrator do the others chores.
10.Drive them to school in my PJ's and get out and hug them.

Looking forward to seeing other lists. Wouldn't mind seeing one for younger kids.

Eyes on supervision every waking hour.

cid
24325

yup..thanks for the input

cid
24327

also--perhaps this uncle needs to be told that his own recreation needs to wait until he's not responsible for watching your kids. That's part of the puzzle of parenthood. Once you have kids, the thing that makes kids becomes much less spontaneous.

cid
24329

Teaching good touch/bad touch might be a good idea. And maybe a visit to the public library for an age appropriate book about the birds and the bees. Also a talk with the uncle about what is appropriate behavior when children are around. Best wishes.

cid
24330

thanks for the advice i just dont want to ask him about it if it isnt true and cause akwardness between us.

cid
24334

thank you and i never knew there were books like that for her age. I will have to look into it.

cid
24335

Ok, but don't ask him to watch your kids again.

cid
24336

of course not...he hasnt

cid
24338

I know it is scary to consider the possibility that your young child may have seen such a thing.

However, I think you also need to take into account her age. 4 is a common age for children to be interested in the physical make-up of the other sex. They will often undress each other in order to satisfy their curiosity.

This doesn't mean that there is any sexual connotation to it, it just means that she is curious about the differences between boys and girls. You can tell her that we are not allowed to look at other people's private areas, but if she has a question she should come to you and you will give her an answer.

Also, I wouldn't right away assume that your uncle was having sex with someone. Even though you probably explained everything to her, small children are amazing in that you can give them exact details about sex, with pix and the whole works. You finish the whole presentation sure you've covered all your bases.

Then when you ask them to explain to you about things, like ,"how did the seed get inside the mommy?" they will come up with all sorts of weird things. They might say, "the mommy ate it," or "she got a shot."

All of these things are (for them) more consistent with their world view of how things work, so this is how all that carefully presented info. morphs into stuff like a little kid planting seeds in his backyard so he'll have a baby soon-all because he heard that the "daddy plants the seed.."

I wonder if your daughter even really knows what having sex is? I would ask her very casually what having sex looks like. Make a reference to the uncle (calmly), and ask her to be more specific. I have a feeling she has been thinking about it, and wondering what exactly it looks like, and so she just upped and said this about her uncle.

She probably saw her uncle doing something completely unrelated, and decided to call it "having sex." It would be very unusual for a 4 year old to be able to tell you what having sex looks like.

I would also expect to see more sex-related behavior if this had really happened, like her getting on top of another child and moving her body. If she did that and said she saw her uncle doing that, then I'd be at that uncle's house in a heartbeat with a shotgun.

Just kidding. Of course, I am not saying you should take any chances, but just look at the situation more carefully before you jump to any conclusions. Also, check out a copy of the Magic Years by Selma Fraiberg.This is a classic, and well recognized by everyone. She has several chapters on this in her book.

cid
24383