Spoiled Stepdaughter - FamilyEducation
Spoiled Stepdaughter
08/19/2011 at 11:42 AM

Im lost. I have a 15yr old stepdaughter and two boys of my own. (7&10) My husband portrays a hard disciplinarian but only when it comes to my son's. She's not a terrible child, I just find her to be spoiled and manipulative which continues to cause disagreements when I try to discuss it with my husband. The child has everything under the sun and gets anything she asks for and I feel she manipulates each of her parents to maintain this. Mommy wont buy it but Daddy will and visa/versa. She comes home with new clothes and shoes all the time but claims Mom never takes her shopping. She gets major attitude with me whenever her dad is not around or cant hear. She does cheerleading and plays softball and is constantly hanging with friends. Basically, she runs her show. But does nothing to earn it. She has no chores at her mom (which she reminds me constantly) and has recently aquired one single chore in our home. She cleans the bathroom every other week and makes it known how unhappy she is about that.I am a stay at home and I dont NEED her to help with chores etc, but its the principle of learning, earning, and responsibility. Shes barely capable of doing many of the househole chores. If her and and get into a small disagreement, my husband tells US to cut it out. Am I a kid here? And now its getting close to car time and shes waiting for keys to be handed to her. I dont think its right. She has no intention on working or paying for any of it and I dont think my husband plans to have her do so. I disagree and feel she needs to earn this kind of passage and help pay for it. But I cant even bring it up anymore without causing a huge fight and dont know where we stand. It not right in my opinion and he hold my two boy to a much higher standard of discipline than his own. They help with chores constantly but hide out in thier room as to not "get in trouble" by thier stepdad. I dont know what to do to help my husband understand he difference in how he treats the kids and how hes not doing any justice for his kid by handing her everything she wants at this age.

**Let me add that Ive been in this relationship for ove 7 years now and it has only progressively gotten worse with his daughter.

The 7 year old is his? I think you stop fighting a battle you aren't going to win. Get family therapy, or personal therapy if your husband won't go. She's 15, so she's up and out in 3-4 years.

i would talk to your husband, i know i had to talk to mine about my stepdaughter, he kept babying her and i was getting tired of it. she would throw her attitude and he would say oh she is upset. really stuff like that needs to be stopped, my husband would also tell me and his stepdaughter to cut it out when we argue, it would piss me off so i would simply turn around and remind him i am not your child so dont be talking to me like that...if you dont put a end to that now then it will always happen

Or a lifetime!