My mom married my stepfather when I was in my mid twenties, Since then it has been as ongoing issue with him crossing boundaries. I've had many discussions with him and her about it, and he told me that if he was doing it, it was not intentional, and to let him know when it's happening or he won't know. I agreed that this was reasonable.
Recently for my moms 50th birthday, I collected a bunch of pictures that represented various milestones in her life. I was very cautious to chose tasteful pictures. I posted them on Facebook with a loving birthday message, and she got really upset about it. Instead of phoning me and telling me she was upset, she had my stepdad start harassing my husband at work about it. And then sending me threatening messages. I told him that he was crossing a boundary by #1 getting involved in the first place, and #2 getting my husband involved. Since then, my mom has also had my Aunt sending me rude and nasty messages about it too.
Am I crazy to expect that my mom ask my stepdad and aunt to butt out? I feel like this could have been resolved with 2 people and a five min phone call. She thinks it takes 50 texts, FB messages and 5 people. Her justification is that her husband and sister are "defending her". From me? really? is this necessary? Should she not have tried to resolve this with me first?