My daughter prefers her stepmother - FamilyEducation
My daughter prefers her stepmother
03/12/2010 at 16:52 PM

This is my first time using this message board; I'm hoping to find some advice out there.

Long story short...

Almost 2 years ago my daughter (13 at the time) moved out of state to live w/her father and stepmother. Since then she seems to favor her stepmother, and respects her feelings over mine. She's now 15 and not only does she still prefer to live w/them, but our relationship (via phone, internet, and visits 2-3 times a year) is a lot of work. Our conversations are pleasant enough, but it always seems like she'd rather not be on the phone, etc.

Everyone has always told me that she'll come around; sometimes teenage daughters and their mothers go through this stage in life. It only seems to be getting more difficult as time has goes on though, not better.

Any advice or thoughts would be most appreciated!

Broken homes are difficult when kids are involved. In several situations a child is forced to take sides emotionally with one parent versus the other. Why that is the case has to do with the psychological needs of the individual. Another factor is your daughter is 13 which means that her hormones are beginning to rage and she may not know what she wants and who she is. Unless there is some major offense committed by one of the parents a child loves each parent equally even though it seems she prefers to be with a particular household at this time. Be patient and though difficult all efforts made on maintaining the relationship are seeds that are guaranteed to bear fruit in the future. Be patient for if you push too hard and she is not ready you may alienate her completely.

Thank you for your thoughts.