Inappropriate Stepfather-In-Law - FamilyEducation
Inappropriate Stepfather-In-Law
09/28/2012 at 00:14 AM

I could really use some good advise, I feel like I have no one to talk to about this and I am at my wits end. My Stepfather in-law is the most inappropriate man I know. Here is the short version of what he does:

-Winks at me on a regular bases. To the point that if eye contact is ever made, there will be a wink attached.
-He complements me numerous times during a single visit. He says things like "that dress looks stunning on you!" throughout the day.
-He all of a sudden started to do a lingering kiss on my forehead whenever he gets a chance to give me a hug
-He whisperer things in my ear that never needed to be a secret. Things like "I am so glad you had such a great time."
-He is fond of rubbing my neck
-I normally feel suffocated around him, which makes me very quite and never acting like my self around him. If I do have a moment where I am being my self, he jumps on that and starts joking around with no end in sight.

Because of all these things, and others, I am always trying to avoid him at family gatherings.

Now, recently we were all on a family trip and when I came out of the bathroom dressed for the night be did a howling whistle at me. After that my husband went head to head with him and told him he needs to knock everything off. His Stepfather deeply apologized and was hurt that I was uncomfortable with him. But that lasted two days and he is back to normal.

The thing is, I am not the only one. Both my husbands cousin, sister, and grandmother has said the exact same things to his Stepfather and all he does is either act overly sorry and plays the victim, or gets incredibly pissed off and says we are accusing him. It seems that all of them have become numb to what he does now, and I don't know how to get to that place. I have even had friends and family members who have met him and instantly get a "Creepy" vibe from him.

I am at a loss, being around him is making me physically sick. This puts so much pressure on my husband because this situation not only hurts me, it hurts his mom, and is essentially wrecking his family. I know that he has tried to confront him, and all my husband wants is a happy peaceful family, but it is really hard for me to enjoy being around his Stepfather, which then makes my time around his family miserable and I do love the rest of his family. His mother seems to act like nothing is happening, which is really sad when we watch him give flirty compliments to other women (even other married women), which again seems like she is numb to his actions. Every time something is brought up to him it is a hopeless battle because he wont change.

My husband has confronted him like I said. But the thing is, it is not as easy to constantly be picking a fight with him because my Husband works for his Stepfathers company, and currently that is our main source of income. This scares my Husband that if his Stepfather gets too angry that we will loose our finances.

I do want a peaceful family, for my husbands sake, I really need help on how to cope with this type of person. Any advise would be appreciated. Thank you.

i think you and your husband just need to lay down the law with him. sounds like he is a creeper and needs to be put in his place. i wouldnt put up with it even if its your husbands job you are worried about. i would have a family meeting and include everyone that has a problem with his actions, sorta like an intervention. he needs to know his boundaries what he is doing is a form of sexuall harassment.