Can't do this another weekend - FamilyEducation
Can't do this another weekend
12/04/2010 at 17:51 PM

My fiance and I have been together almost 5 years. We just started living together 3 months. One of his sons (17) lives with us and the other one is 21 and just visits. I have two boys, 14 and 12. When we got engaged in August, it was under the agreement that I would have my boys every other weekend.

Circumstances have changed and now the boys are with their Dad during the week and with me on the weekend.

So my fiance is tired of it and now calls this the "event" when my kids come over. We can't come to an agreement and it is always a fight. We are about done with each other. I had given up my house and during the last few months lost my job so now I am stuck.

He says he just wants time alone on the weekend but even when my kids weren't with me everything revolved around his 17 year old.

I love him so much but today was my breaking point when he said..great we have to go get the event about my youngest. My youngest is 12 and really just watches movies and reads while he is here. His room isn't done yet.

I can't stop crying.

Do you have family that would help you until you can get on your feet?

No not around here.

How far would you have to travel? Changing schools for your boys might be easier over the winter holiday. Oh wait, you would have to remain where you are--their Dad has them during the week. Sorry, wasnt' paying attention. I still think it is clear that you need to get out of the situation you are in. Do you have any friends that could put you up who would be able to house your boys on the weekends? Even sleeping bags on the livingroom floor would be better than the resentment they must endure, now.

Does fiance mean a ring and a date? What were the circumstances with your sons when you met 5 years ago? Maybe he is missing the time you spent together before this change. Many people have a difficult time dealing with change and sharing the person they love. Have you tried asking him about and validating his feelings? Are you able to spend quality time together when your children are not with you? Are you able to see your children when your fiance is at work? My husband got his boys all day Sunday at the start of our relationship. We worked opposite schedules and were both only off on Sunday. Because of the economy he gradually worked many less hours, then not at all for 7 months. YET, he still continued to get his boys, who live 15 min away and he can get them anytime, only on Sunday, my only day off. I was resentful to have to spend my only day off with them when he had PLENTY of time to see them when I was at work. Maybe your fiance is feeling similarly?