My boyfriend lives with me and we have lived together for year plus. He has 2 toddlers, 3 and 4 1/2 with non-custodial custody so every other weekend we have them. It's been difficult but we are finally able to be 'happy' around the kids and they are becoming more accepting of me in different care-giving roles when he can't manage both of them at the same time. Our relationship has gone through many strains with many adjustments but we are making them.
However, he has made it clear that he is not ready for marriage. He has indicated he wants to be eventually but has no timeline what so ever. I don't want to pressure, but it has made my role very confusing due to his expectations.
He coaches on the weekends when he has the boys, so he needs help with taking care of them. He doesn't want to marry me right now, but wants me there to 'help'. Which means, I will get them ready, I will cook them breakfast and I will take care of them essentially until he's back (because I work full-time also and am in Graduate School so weekends is when I really catch up on homework).
Is this common? Am I unreasonable to want a more solid commitment from him before becoming a step-mom and sacrificing myself as well as my current obligations with school? I feel as if he wants a wife, and a mother replacement so that he can carry on his life as normal, but not buckle down his commitment to me as a husband.