Mother won't let father be in sons life - FamilyEducation
Mother won't let father be in sons life
11/10/2007 at 14:24 PM

Hey there. I have a problem that needs to be corrected. I am a single father of a son. His mother and I had agreement for me to see him mon, wed, fri sat and sun one week and tue and thur the next week. And holidays were split she had him during day and me at nights for the holidays. Well, recently she told me that she was just going to let me see him everyother weekend and thats it cause she said he don't listen to her when he comes back from my house. He's just turned 2 and thats how 2 year olds act at times. She'd pick him up when I had him after work bout 10:45pm and if he was asleep she'd wake him up "to spend more time with him" but actually its cause shes not a morning person and she don't want to get up before 11am. She has another child with her current boyfriend and I believe they are showing more attention to her other child that way my son acts this way with her or hes not listening to her boyfriend cause he learning who his real dad is cause his mom tells him to call him dad. We going to court on Nov 30 to get visits back and I know that dads get screwed in court. I pay $70 a week in support and $30 a week in medical ins. I need some advice. She wouldn't even let me talk to him on the phone the other day. This is tearing me apart. Please help!!!!

I'm not sure where you are located but if you are in Ohio, I would not worry too much.  Ohio is very much pro-father-I found that out the hard way.  I am a single mother of a son and my ex is very controlling.  Although my son asked not to have additional time with his father and I tried to fight it in court ( I spent over $14,000 on legal fees and will probably never get out of the debt) the court said that he should be with his father at least 50% of the time.  And although he makes over $80,000 more a year than I do,  I am still reponsible for paying 50% of any fees that our son  may aquire.  For example, I just shelled out $100 for a dental bill. 

My advise would be to write down everything on a calendar.  Write down when you attempted to call your son and what you were told.  Write down what you did with your son when he was with you.  Write down what she told you as she picked him up.  Be as accomadating as you can stand to be and don't start any arguments.  You will need to show the court that you are the strong one.  Just make sure all your ducks are in a row so to speak.  God Bless You and good luck.

cid
2395

that is the sadest thing that i have ever heard for once a father wants his baby i think more fathers should be praised for this.i feel for you and this could feel like the worst time but it will get better if there is a desent judge and you have a good lawyer you should get your son back it sounds like all she is doing is hurting this child and that will cause more damage to him in the long run he is only 2 but they have feelings to i guess she doesn't see it that way she is the worst kind of mom she should be looking at what is best for him good luck keep in touch

cid
2408

Some days it seems like we lost the sexual revoluton, doesn't it.

cid
2425

My brother is going to court on the 14th of December for a visitation hearing. She  won't let him see  his daughters (7 and 1 year) at all. We have a relationship with the 7 year old and everytime we talk with her she says, "I want to come over but mommy says no." Yeah, she'll actually let us speak with her on the phone but we never get to see her. The 1yr old we've never even met. Anyway, I'll post more about what happened, but I'm thinking for the 7yr old he'll just get standard visitation which is every other weekend. It's a little different with toddlers so I'm not sure what "standard" would be in your case. You will definitely get some sort of order but it may not be the visitation schedule you want. The arrangement you had with your ex previously is not typical but the court looks at the best interest of the child and your schedule. Keep in mind that when the child reaches school age the off and on weekly visits are not reasonable unless you live in the same school district that the child will be attending. Good luck and let us know what happens. 

cid
2699

Brant, let us know what happend in court on the 30th.

cid
2737

We ended up getting a continuance until dec 5th.  But i told the judge what i wanted and they agreed to it.  So i get him every tuesday and every other thur when i don't get him that weekend.  Plus i get him xmas eve and day father day, half day on his bday, 2 extra days in summer for vacation, thanksgiving every other year, everyother memorial and labor day, my bday, and easter every other year.  Halloween is whoever day it falls on and i get him that day until 2011.  Already checked that out.  So thanks everyone for your support.

cid
2741

 Way to go Brant. Congratulations. I hope you and your son have a merry Christmas together.

cid
2743

We are having a problem with the mother of my son's baby. She just had him 06/07/08 he was 2 months prem. he only weighs a little under 3 pounds. My son just wants to be in his life and we already know we are in for a fight. She is very aggressive and manipulative. My son left her because she was very violent and was continuously punching him, slapping him, and belittling him in public. But he really is a great kid and just wants to be a good dad. What or who can we talk to. We need to find out about his rights. She won't let him in the hospital, he can't get in without her because he is in NICU unit.
cid
5660

Since they are not married father has no rights until paternity is proven. Your son, not anyone else, needs to file with the court to establish paternity. Once paternity is established he can then file for custody, or visitation.. He can expect child support to also be ordered. Any violent episodes by the mother need to be reported to the police, this will help your sons case. Help your son, but do not become so involved that you are the ones driving the case. Good luck.
cid
5679

My daughter's mother is pregnant by someone else and my daughter is one. She is five months pregnant by someone else. I have not been allowed to see my daughter and I pay child support going to court again for joint custody. How can the other person she is pregnant by not see she will do the same thing to him. My daughter looks just like me but I should have a DNA done since she was pregnant by someone else when my daughter was six months old. I did not marry her and I doubt he will. She was living with me until she decided she wanted someone else to be the father of the second child. She looking for another check from someone else for this one. Keep hope alive this one will not be as pretty and precious as mine.
cid
9073

Hello was just reading your message and i think it is very ridiculus when a women gives the man a hard time in seeing his child or children. My son and his girlfriend lived with me since she was five months pregnant, i took care of them both with no help at all from her parents or a thank you.. My grandson was born and he slept with her probably the first two nights and then she put him off on me. So as a grandmother i took care of him. He slept with me every day for a full 9 months and i had him more than she did, one day her and my son break up and she still stays with me and i made my son move out, she gets pissed off at me one day cause i told her she was lazy and a spoiled brat so she moves out on march 11, 2010 and gives us trouble seeing him, we have seen him 3 times since she left so needless to say i helped my son get an attorney and we have court june 29, 2010 and get this young lady straight..she leaves my grandson every where so she can go party and taking pills.. but we arent good enough to see him.. i despise a women that treats the father badly for no reason. so im sorry that you are going through what you are, it is not right at all..
cid
21459

Has paternity been established? If not, that may be the first thing that needs to be done. Your son may get visitation, but he should also expect to be ordered to pay child support. From what you say, the mother has done nothing wrong. Careful the way you enter in to these types of cases. Lawyers will say you have a case when you may not have one. What state is this happening in?
cid
21460

Everyone has to air out their differences at the table, in order to resolve this. Noone knows the outcome, at this point, but , I believe, it might be worth a try. Good luck.
cid
29554

my oldest son is about to be 8 years old and thru the 7 years I have not been able to see my son when my son was born the mother of the child didn't even tell me that my son was born I heard it from a random guy out in the streets! I went to the hospital she told me that I will never ever see or be in my sons life for as long as lives.I was devastated to know that she had said that to me,did a DNA test the results said 99.99% I was happy then we went to court that following week the courts favor her she told them that I was an unfit father when I didn't even know about our son they gave her the rights on the day to see him when I can be with him including child support.Each time I called she never answer the phone and then this year she moved and didn't tell no one that she did so I'm lost don't know where my son is I've only seen him once in his entire life and the mother of the child doesn't care at all please help!
cid
29767

I'm a 25 year old hard working guy, never been arrested, never done any drugs, don't drink or anything. I've been in the oilfield since I was 14 during summers for family rig and when I turned 18 and graduated I went full time. For my age making over 90k with no college is good. Let me start by telling my story and then asking for some help. I met my child's mother when I was having trouble from a break up she treated me amazing and always told me how great I was and so did her family. After dating a while she ended up pregnant. I was the happiest man alive I did everything to help. I would cook and do all the house work to allow her to rest after working. I did everything for her, buying expensive clothing for the baby, buying the bed, the bassinet, basically everything, I bought 2 packs of diapers a week to prepare for the baby. I think I did a really good job. When she was 4months pregnant she told me she wanted to split up, she never cared for me or anything. Cont...
cid
30643

I wasn't allowed at any dr visits or even knew,. I begged to be there when the my daughter was born but no she had her and I found out from Facebook 14 hours later. I called and they lied saying they tried to call but couldn't show me proof, I met her when she was 1 day old my family was outcasted and they wouldn't let anyone in the room. I held my daughter for 20 mins and that's it. That day was the last time I've ever seen her, I've begged for chances to see her but no. Her brother is a cop and has connections everytime I've tried to take it to court I never get any responses. My question is: why is it the guys who don't want to be dads are begged to be around, and the guys who want to be fathers are not allowed ? What can I do to have a fighting chance against a family of greed who has connections with all lawyers, judges and law enforcement? Should I just forget I have a daughter and move forward? What will she tell my daughter one day when she ask why she don't have a dad?
cid
30644

I have a problem with not letting my son father take him out because his never there for him but still give me money. He wants to be able to take him out but can't prove to me that he can take care of him on his own!
cid
30851

My ex-wife let me have unsupervised visits all over the county, with me taking the kids to parks, the video arcade, my parents' house, and a national forest. When she found her fiancee six months ago (I helped her find him!), she told me it would be up to the kids to ask to see me (classic Parental Alienation behavior), and then she left me a horrid message on my phone telling me to get out of their lives. Naturally, after two years of feeding them, taking them to McDonald's Playland, etc. it was for "safety" reasons.
cid
30961