child discipline help
08/02/2011 at 10:08 AM

im a single mother and im aware i havent disciplined my daughter much ... i was abused (physically, mentally and sexually) as a child and im afraid that i will not be able to discipline her without hurting so i havent done much ... i know i do need to start but i dont know how to and sometimes even feel like im not a good mother ... and now me and my partner are thinking of getting more serious but he brought to my attention the fact that he doesnt like the way my daughter is. he has a child himself and the way he disciplines is with spanking and i guess it works because his child is very well behaved ... we had a talk and he ask me to please do something (discipline) about my daughter he said he doesnt expect me to hit her if i dont want to but that i do need to find a way to discipline her and he asked to think about our future together about how i would feel if he were ever to discipline my daughter which he says he doesnt feel comfortable about ever doing and cant see himself doing it (but would i be ok with him doing it to our future children??).. i am very confused i know i do have to start teaching my daughter to behave but i dont know how i would feel about him spanking her (lightly) i feel that if he is doing it as discipline and not out of pure violence its somewhat ok but what is the difference?? what should i do??

If he's able to control his temper and keep a job, and if he never drives drunk, I think his drinking is not that important. Leering at women--someday somebody's going to sweetly knee him in the groin and he'll figure out that none of us like it, not you, not the women he's ogling.

You don't have a child together, and he's a bad example for your boys. I'm leaning toward you leaving before you do get pregnant. If you get pregnant, he's in your life forever.

cid
27655

I agree with the 'if you get pregnant he will be in your life forever' part. It's hard for a single mom out there and mothers try to advoid it as much as possible even if that means staying in a relationship that has already gone down hill. I know from experience I am pregnant with our third child and me and my husband do not have a good relationship I sometimes wish we would have fixed things before we had kids.

cid
27668