Less attention - FamilyEducation
Less attention
09/10/2012 at 18:02 PM

If a child is brought up to believe he or she is the "good" one so he or she always behaves, then does the child gets less attention. If it's ingrained into the child's head then the mother doesn't have to pay positive attention to this child. It's like this child has the duty to be "good" in order to let her mother be free to give negative attention to the other siblings. Also it would give the mother the ability to do her thing leaving the child alone because the mother counts on the child to be "good". Thus hardly giving her or him attention. Is this chid emotionally abused.

Personally, i find the definition of 'good' needs to be taught and learned. Being what some might say is 'bad' and testing limits is part of many kids development. Every child is different and will test thier limits- I think over time this is how they learn to be independant. You can't just leave them cause they are good. If mom doesn't give attention or give love regardless the child will find it elsewhere.

This is a great question. That was me growing up. My brother has asperger's and I was the good reliable one. My brother needed a lot of attention and received a lot more warnings when it came to behavior. I felt our standards for life were completly different. When my mother died this became even more apparent because he "needed" more attention. Don't get me wrong I think both my parents hung the moon but it is a good question to ask. I can't say I haven't been hurt by this concept in my past. Kids do think of these things and parents should try to be self aware. Make sure that even if you have a child who is more sel sufficient and reliable you still understand they need you emotionally just as much. They aren't adults!

children can be emotionally scarred if they have there flaws pointed out to them contantly. even if the child has had a not so good day as the others its important to point out things he or she has done right like for example just mentioning how well he put his toys away can build self esteem. pointing out the bad all the time will have negative attitude come backs from the child.

Calling your child as the "good" one has its pros and cons. It may become a sort of burden for the child as s/he has to behave appropriately all the time and s/he cannot be free to behave as they wish. On the other hand, the child may start believing that their mother has expectations from him/ her and therefore, s/he must read, write, play, behave well. Thus, it is for the parents to decide on the way they want to use the statement as it can affect the child's emotions severely.