Greed or not Greed that is the question - FamilyEducation
Greed or not Greed that is the question
07/19/2008 at 10:15 AM

We live in a 2 family home with my mother. her on 2nd floor and us on the 1st. We are looking at single family homes to better ourselves, current neighborhood going downhill very fast. My mother 82 yrs wants to sell house and give us proceeds towards, new home in better neighborhood and we want her to go with us also. as does she, she deserves better neighborhood also.

Am i wrong accepting this, my siblings  think it should be split amongst all, and or saved for elderly care if needed, but that is covered allready { care ).

I am only doing what my mother wants and if this makes her happy , that is most important.

Thanks Advise needed.


I think you're doing the right thing, especially if that's what your mother and you want. If down the road you need to sell the house, for whatever reason, worry about it then. Bettering yourselves sounds like a good idea, as long as you can afford the new house and you continue to have care for your mom. Why not be happy? Go for it!

It drives me crazy when children feel entitled to their parent money (she's ALIVE for God sake). It's her money and her life... If you agree together that this is a better arrangment for both of you then go for it... The others have no "RIGHT" to your mothers money! Why would you "split" HER money?? It's rediculous the entitlement people have just because they are related to a person. You mother can make her own decisons on how she will spend her own money ... The greed is on your siblings part not yours... buy a nice house and take good care of your mom!! You can start to divide her "things" after she has passed...

My 1 brother in law will not stop, keeps wanting to meet. I just tell him nothing to be discussed and bye. They even sent friends over to garage sale to see if anything of value was being sold. UNBELEIVABLE Thanks for the support everyone i need it. tring to stay strong for mom hopefully this house sells soon, then its all over. Thanks all again.

I agree with "tamz" 100%.

The sad thing is that you guys are arguing over this issue. Your mom deserves to be happy. If it's her $$, she has the right to spend it as she wishes. Just because she's older, doesn't mean she has no mind of her own. I hope in time your family will see that this is the right decision for everyone now. Continue to stand your ground.

There was an incident in my life that I'd like to share with you. I was taking a walk with my mother and she was talking about remarrying and moving. She made a comment that she felt guilty about spending the money we kids should get when she died. I was shocked and told her that we were not waiting for her to die and she owed us nothing in the way of inheritance. Go be happy, I told her...and she did. We spent better years because of it.

Seems like all is over at the moment, offer was accepted for new house, not just need to sell this one. Mom is all exited and ready. Brother in law finally got the point, 1 sister has disowned me I believe, not heard anything from her. Just need to keep moving forward, Thanks for all the support everyone.

Now my sisters son, (my nefew,age 39)totaly ignored my mother (his grandmother) in church. After he stated to her that by selling the house she has hurt his mother and now she his grandmother will pay the consicuenses. You know what i want to say to him, but i am being strong for my mother. She is upset but not realy showing it, she now wants to cut him out of will. I say good for her and now as soon as we are all in new house things will be better. Do you think they will come around or just let it go for now and see? Any other advise ? Thanks

It seems to me that your mother's money is more important to your family than your mother herself. She SHOULD cut him out of the will... This is a tragedy that an older lady would be shunned by her family over money. This is the time of her life where she should be enjoying her family... Her grandson should have sat by her in church and held her hand and walked her to the car and treated her with the respect she deserves. My Grandmother said some pretty mean things, at times in her older age, and I NEVER gave up on her. Your nephew and his mother are foolish. Love is so much more important than money and if they don't know this their lives are not as rich as they could be. I'm just so sad for your mother. You should take extra care to do fun things with her to get her mind off things. When one is retired, she then starts to focus on her family ... she will be so sad if you don't distract her. Just live it up and have a ball for now. Use your nephew's inheritance to take a trip .... lol

Thank You everyone for support. It is now about 3 months after moving, and family still seperated. Mom is very happy, and doing well. Sisters/ grand kids ot come into new home as they say not moms house. There choice. Grand kids still not calling all but 1. Sisters explained that is is mom who should be calling them, so we are having her do that. I guess time is all that this needs and my main concern is mom is doing very well and keeps telling her friends how beuitifull new home is and how happy we are togather. Thanks

mrgman, Thx for updating us on your situation. I'm glad everything is working out for you and your mom, even though your family is still divided. Hopefully things will work out in time for all of you.

I believe you are doing the right thing for your mom and your family. You are giving her a better life for her remaining years. Unfortunately the siblings will disagree and what you are doing will leave a bad tast in their mouth. hopefully, they will see this is the best for all involved. After all you are taking your mom with you, not asking the others to take her. GOOD LUCK!

LOVE HAPPY ENDINGS! I hope everyone will come around. Just keep the faith and pray for their ignorance.