Ostracized...in Kindergarten but great school education wise..please help! - FamilyEducation
Ostracized...in Kindergarten but great school education wise..please help!
08/22/2011 at 18:08 PM

We go to a great school when it comes to teachers and activities. We have a lot around us activity wise. Our problem is being ostracized and the moms and kids picking on my family. We don't want to be part of a click and it has been nothing but a nightmare. At 6 years old I have learned that parents actual adults can be mean to a child. I have ran into parents that are nice but I am afraid that they are warned to stay away from us even if they don't know us. Mommy directed socialization rather then letting their children do it. Is this enough of a reason to change schools? I have had a mom threaten to hit me, actually bullied me, and is popular in the school. The school system has a reputation for great education but kids tend to grow up to be bullies...I have talked to parents up to 2 hours away from here and the reputation still stands. The kids seem so sweet except for one core group that is mean to my daughter. What do other parents think? Please help..advice...

Get involved, volunteer some time in the classroom. Make your decision based on your own experience, not on a fear that is based on hearsay.

Thanks for posting...I do volunteer in the classroom and do things at the school. I wish I had never gone to the co-op for preschool and just walked in without knowing any of the parents at all. Unfortunately I don't get a good feeling going in there. My daughter tells me she doesn't play with any of the other kids. I don't know why she says that to me when the teacher will tell me yes she does. I don't play the game. She is suppose to be directing her own friendships and not have mommy directed friendships. She got hit by a woman I would never choose as a friend...don't like this woman but she does alot for the school...I am not happy here at all...lots of clicks...

You have three choices. Stay and be miserable, leave, or be an agent for change. If it is that cliquish, then there are other families that also feel left out. You could take the initiative to build relationships among all the families. At 6 years old, she should have a mommy who arranges and supports play dates.

Tried to make playdates and people said, "no" except one little girls mom and she played with her once. Then their phone got disconnected and we never heard from them again. My daughter said she doesn't and hasn't liked the little girls that she played with in preschool that was without any prompting from me that is now the clique. As far as I can see there are no families that are not in the clique. I asked the principal to put our classroom away from this other classroom and all he does is put us next door. The other moms don't like me. My personality doesn't seem to get along in this type of environment. I have tried to be nice and do stuff for the room teacher etc..hopefully to make the kids and everyone else happy but I still fear going back this year and I am afraid that this environment doesn't foster growth but fear and bullying...

I have talked to parents who live up to 2 hours away and they know the school systems reputation for raising a bully child. It is disturbing to me but I am not happy with this at all. I call to ask a question and get curt answers or they answer like I am a space alien. I am so depressed that I can't sleep and eating is hard..

we too are experiencing this. Small town. daughter started jk. last year and changed a lot. she wasn't going every day, she ended up at the end spitting on teachers knowing she will go home. this is a new year and I just found out that a child was told not to play with her, this girl is 1 year older and grew up here. so if my daughter cant play with her she cant play with any of the girls. they have put her at the back of class with a child with down syndrome, but don't switch it up. so she sits with someone who cant talk to her and plays alone.

the first few days of school the father was at the bus my girl and his were hugging holding hands and racing. I mentioned how happy it made me for her.last year she went to bus and smiled introduced herself and no one including parents responed. so when this year started felt better. was short lived though. cause lilly told my girl that her mom said they cant play.i asked the mom she said yes I did. I told her she is not to play with her, but has to answer her if she talks to her. if she has to play with her at gym I guess she has to.but because my daughter when holding hands gets to close to road she is a bad influence.she is 5. help please helpless in verona