My son hates school - FamilyEducation
My son hates school
11/13/2007 at 15:32 PM

I took my son out of the regular high school and placed him in an independant study program. He has always has trouble academically, and the regular high school had him in college prep classes and he was receiving straight F's. They refused to change his classes. The independant study program is becoming very frustrating for him, and for me. He is having trouble understanding the work in English and Math. His teacher just tells him to read it and he will "get it" but that is not the case. Now he wants to just drop out of school... and is refusing to even do the work in teh subjects he excells at (Science Geography). I do not know what to do anymore. I am tired of fighting with him. I am tired of having meetings with his teacher, who says what she thinks I want to hear and then never follows through. He is supposed to have instruction twice a week for an hour each time... and I can count on one hand the number of times he has been in there more than 15 minutes.

He is not allowed to go back to regular high school, and I am out of options. Any feedback would be great. He is 16 years old, and I'd just like him to get an education.

go to the board the other teachers anyone who will listen my brother had the same problem and it got so bad that he quit he works fast food to take care of a child it so out of hand they say no child left behind but thats so not true this is a difficult situation i feel for you what about getting him some private tutering and if you have to go every day to the school til they get sick of you someone has to save this boy it will not be pretty if he leaves school like my brother no one chooses to live like he does he made a mistake but that started with people giving up on him first i know this is a lot of thoughts quickly put together but at least you want to save him get other parents involved i'm sure he is not the only one good luck hope this helped


Thanks beautifulmom for the reply. We have tried tutoring and the general concensus is that my son may have a learning disability. I brought this up with his instructor and she will not test for it... here you have to go through the school system for that kind of testing.... she keeps saying he needs therapy, my son told me today that she says that to him every time he sees her. He says it is because he has pretty much dropped most of his friends because they are all doing drugs and stuff and he wants no part of that type of lifestyle. I'd say he has his head on pretty straight if he does not want to hang out with people who are doing illegal narcotics.

Since it is an independant study program, getting together with other parents may prove difficult, but I will try that anyway.

Thanks again for the kind words.



My son who is 16 now has had difficulty, not diagnosable by the standard school psychologists.  I took him to a program called Learning Technics.  They did a $90 1 hour evaluation first, and I really believe that they would have told us if their program wouldn't help.  Anyway, they found that he had some problems with his eye muscles, and also that the part that connects your left side of your brain to your right side of your brain was not functioning as well as it could.  Anyway, it cost us another $2700, and an hour a week with their therapist along with daily exercises at home and it really helped.  hat was about 7 years ago, and he does just fine academically and socially.


It sounds like he does know what he wants and that is wonderful sometimes people have tunnel vision she is only seeing what the text books have told her to see.I hope this will get better for your son it breaks my heart I wish that his instructor would get a grip. Good luck and keep the encouragement up.


Is there anything technical or even mechanical/vocational that your son likes to do right now? Anything that interests him in working with his hands or with the arts? If so, I would encourage you to look at some options for him to finish his education going that route. We have schools in our area that cater to different types of learning but the end result is a diploma. My own brother had ADHD as a child and this made school quite the nightmare for him growing up. However, he excelled in working with engines, parts, and loved motorcycles with a passion. We made some adjustments for him and he graduated with a high school degree but from a Vocational/Tech school that had a program for mechanical studies. He then went to college in Arizona at a specialized school for mechanical vocations. He graduated in two years with a degree and has been working ever since. He makes very good money and has worked in management at a very high-end water sports/motorcycle/ sport-craft dealership. He used to work on the cycles and boats to repair them but then moved into managing the whole department. He has also been in sales as well and right now we just put him in charge of my father's consulting company because our dad is very ill and is dying. He is doing a wonderful job and his diverse background helps is not a hinderance. Please see what is available for your son for alternatives to quitting school. He needs to at least finish high school. I know how tough this can be as I watched my own brother struggle. Not every person needs to be a CEO or a stockbroker so if he's good at other, more dextrous things....go down that avenue and investigate your options. Just don't give up!! Get your family doctor onboard to for any help in evaluating your son for possible learning issues. Our doctor, not necessarily the school, was key to diagnosing and helping my brother through ADHD. It takes a village to get through this so rally the crowds. Stay strong, and search for alternatives.


try putting him in home schooling becouse it will help him and  he won't be failing




I agree; he might like homeschooling. Have him read The Teenage Liberation Handbook; I've heard it is really good! He could do dual enrollment at the local community college since he is 16, and also just work more at his own pace at home, with some say so in choosing his courses and books.


Thanks all of you! I have hired a private tutor for my son in the hopes that it will help him. I kind of had it out with his instructor last week, so hopefully things will change a bit, at least until I can find a suitable alternative for him. I can not seem to find out much about homeschooling in my area... so will also continue to research that.


Call your school district to find out about home school requirements.  Different states have different laws.  I have had a blast teaching my own children.  I didn't have the confidence with the oldest two, but I wish I had!


After the first session with the private tutor my son is at this very moment doing his algebra... and understanding it!!!!!! The gentleman I hired to tutor him was very patient with my son and showed him a lot of respect, which any person responds well to. He will be coming to our house on a weekly basis. I am so happy to see my son not feeling frustrated and overwhelmed.


Thee are so many reasons kids hate school.  It could be a bully situation or a learning disability.  Have you ever thought about home schooling?  I can tell you what I have learned and what I have done for my two sons.  One diagnosed with ADHD and the other NVLD.  I started to give them a nutritional product that has so drasticly changed our lives that it made a believer out of me and now I am a distributor.  Prior to that my son w/ADHD had become angry, frustrated, and distructive and he was two years behind in school.  This year, with great nutrition I can home school because he can concentrate and sit still.  If you would like to talk in more details, send me an email @  Don't give up!


I am glad to hear that the tutor has had such a positive and immediate impact!   Good for all of you!  I have done some math tutoring in my time, mostly to friends (women) who were enrolled in college.  Sometimes the hardest thing for them was to understand that they were understanding.  They were so accustomed to thinking that math was hard that they just couldn't believe it was that easy.  Funny, huh!



Hi, I am Jessica I am a 17year old Senior and I had the same problems the first 2 years of high school. I hated to go and I hated to work. Then my 11th grade year they placed me at a altertive school, and at that school I finally figured out that I was a really great math and science student and that I wasnt that bad at English ethier and thoughs are all classes that I hated to do at the normally high school. Now I am back at Henderson County High School and  I have great acadimic honors now and I like school. One thing that I can remember that helped me figure out I really wanted to try was when on of my teachers asked me what I wanted to go to college for and I said to be a Doctor. And thats when she told me how much hard work  I would have to do to accomplish that in life and how many more years of schooling I will have to go though. So ask your son what he wants to do with his life? And what he wants to have a career in someday? Also something I learn is that students that are great in Science and usually great in Math and sometimes Struggle in History and English. Write me back if you want to.... And if the independent studies teacher isnt taking the ful amount of time with your child than tell the person in charge of it all.