How to motivate child - FamilyEducation
How to motivate child
09/07/2008 at 09:48 AM

Hello,  I am the mother of a 10-yr old boy in fourth grade.   This is his first year in this new school.   He was recently invited by his teacher to join the Battle of the Books club.  Unfortunately, my son declined the invitation because he does not know anyone in this club + it appears that only girls in his class have shown interest in joining this club.  Battle of the Books involves reading a book and competing with other clubs from different schools in answering questions about the book.

I think this is a great opportunity for him.  He will learn better reading skills and be exposed to competition, meeting other kids, etc.  My question is:  how do I get him to join this club when his only reason not to join is because he does not know anyone?  Should I back down?  Thanks in advance for your help and sharing your own experiences with a similar situation. 


Honestly I think you should let him decide. In 4th grade it is still very important to have a set group of friends. Outside activities are typically associated with who your friends are. He probably does not want to be with all girls, and home doing so will probably not help him socially make friends with boys. While this sounds like a great opportunity, often times one's social well being greatly effects everything else.

Thank you for taking the time to reply. Your comment mirrors the advice of several others I know. I have let him decide for himself if he wanted to join. I just wanted to make sure I was doing the right thing by not pushing him to challenge himself. As my husband says, he is new to the school and is still finding his place, I should just let him be....thanks again, I really feel better now.

I have to agree about not pushing him into it. He is quite new to his school and just finding his feet and making friends. Don't rock that boat. When my youngest son was a lot younger, he didn't have much hobbies and my OH decided that we should insist on him taking something up. It resulted in a lot of trial hobbies, none of which suited and a lot of resentment from the young man. I personally would hate being pushed into joining some club that I didn't want to be in.