My son doesn't want me to leave him at school
09/14/2011 at 08:09 AM

My son is 6 and just started kindergarten. He's been going to daycare since he was 6 weeks old so me dropping him off is not by any means a new thing. He definitely has always had a touch of anxiety. When it gets the best of him he tends to kind of shut down. At these times, nothing gets through to him. There's no bribing him, no coersing him. He just has to snap out of it in his own time/way. He's never had separation anxieties especially not when I've dropped him off at daycare. Well we're 3 weeks into the school year and so far every day I've gone to drop him off (minus 2-3 days), he shuts down and doesn't want me to leave him and won't let go of me. Well I know not to stick around and coddle. I look to the teacher to come and peel him off and take him. I say bye and walk away. He even knows that drill. I have no qualms about the school and I also know as soon as he snaps out of it that he LOVES school and has a blast. I also know that he is well liked and very well behaved. I've had to walk him into the school instead of just dropping him off at the door (because when I tried that, he couldn't get out of the car and I was holding up the line). What I want to know is any suggestions on avoiding the "shut down." Ideally I want to. Be able to pull up, let him jump out of the car, tell him I love him and bye! Realistically I know it won't be that easy. How do I get him into the school without causing a shut down? Is there a way to avoid it? Help, please!

I think it would be fair to drop each of them a matter-of-fact note about how you are feeling. It could be that they have no intention of being so rude. You did a good job of explaining the situation here without sounding whiny, so I think you will be able to communicate the problem to them. Try to present what your expectation of respectful behavior would look like.

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27939

I think if you concentrate on saying what you DO want, instead of what you don't want, it will work.

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27942