HELP!! Trouble with child's friend - FamilyEducation
HELP!! Trouble with child's friend
09/22/2009 at 13:07 PM

Hello. I am new to the site and desperately need some advice. I have two is 13 and very outgoing, bubbly, with many friends and a she has confidence aplenty. My youngest is about to turn 11 and has recently had to be transferred to a new school because of issues going on with a so-called friend that she has had for 2 years. This friend has changed.....annoying, exaggerates everything, has taken to bad language, and most of all, loves to be a drama queen. My child was tired of it and when she distanced herself from this person, the child and her mother have gone crazy with gossip, rumors, and hurtful things to the point where I transferred my daughter to a new school to give her some peace. This kid's mother actually informed me that I am a bad parent because I let my child tell her child that she didn't wish to be friends anymore! ????? Help!! Now my daughter is in a new school and she is trying to make the best of it. She cries though when she comes home each day and says that she is unhappy and that she feels alone. There is also some girl in her new class making racial comments to my daughter. She calls her "whitey" or "white girl" instead of her name. This is a nice school and her new teacher seems wonderful. What should I do here? My heart is breaking and I feel like my child has difficulty making friends or is particularly bothered by kids who are mean or can't behave. Should I talk to the new teacher about the racial comments or let it go? I just want her to be okay and move on in this new school but I don't see it happening. Please help!

By all means bring up the racial comments with the teacher.  Also, give your daughter some humorous comebacks.  Here are some possible one-liners.

"Why D?  Why not D?"

"YD?  WC!  ZE?  Is this some kind of code?"

"Yep, I've known I was a girl since I was about 2.  When did you figure it out?" 

She could call the other girl, "You Americain, you think you are so smart!" with a French accent.

Walk right up to the girl, every time, offer her hand and pronounce her own name v e r y   c l e a r l y.  To make sure she understands. 

Have her practice--role play the situation.

I'm sure ignoring it has been tried.