Abrupt change of school tough on 3rd grader - FamilyEducation
Abrupt change of school tough on 3rd grader
08/14/2008 at 09:03 AM

We recently had to move our 3 kids from one school to the next.  We are still trying to sift through the crap and find out all that exactly happened to our Kindergartener.  She was completely traumatized by the school principal/dministrator -- it was a private school.  We are working with her and have sought help for her.  She is home now and we are working to restore her faith in school.  THE big problem is my 3rd grader.  Due to the emotional and minor physical abuse my youngest suffered, my 3rd grader is a wreck.  She saw what went on and both she and my kindergartener were having nightmares about what this woman did, calling fratically for each other. (FYI:  This school/woman are being investigated -- I can't begin to tell you how sick it makes me -- I wasnt 100 percent on this school -- always trust your gut!).  Anyway, my third grader has been through a lot and I have alerted her teacher and am meeting with the principal of the new school this Friday.  My daughter is having a hard time getting used to this school, knows no one and she is an extremely sensitive, caring , people pleasing girl.  She plasters on a smile when we say goodbye at her class door, but I know she is having a rough time, I can see it in her eyes.  Anyway, we are doing what we can to get through this, and I need to be sure I am helping her get adjusted as best I can.  My son is in first grade and really, other than saying he is going to kick the butt of the past principal, he is doing quite well -- the kind of kid who has no problem telling you his feelings.  You can't imagine how I feel I have failed my children. 

I don't know exactly what happened to your daughter, but it's good that you're getting her the help that she needs. Counceling can be very effective. I'm sorry you're going through such a difficult time w/ your children, but I'm sure in time things will get better. Keep the lines of communication open w/ all your children. Also continue counceling. It may be helpful to go as a family for added support. Starting at a new school can be frightening to a child. There are so many unknowns. However, it sounds like your daughter is a very sweet little girl, and in time and w/ help, I'm sure she'll adjust to her new surroundings. Be there for her to lean on, and keep reassuring her that this new school is nothing like the last one. Not everyone is like your daughter's old principal. There are good people out there, and they want to be supportive. Your daughter will learn to trust again once she's in a positive environment w/ caring people. Just as it's important to keep the lines of communication open w/ your children, it's also important to stay in close contact w/ this new school, the teacher, principal, councelor, etc. You're doing all the right things, and it's evident that you're a very loving, caring parent. I feel in time, you're children will heal from their negative experiences at the other school. Hang in there, and be strong for yourself and your children. None of this is your fault, so don't waste your energy on blaming yourself. Focus on how you will make the future brighter for everyone's sake. As for the other school and the principal, let the professionals handle that matter. Hopefully that school/principal get's what is deserved so this negative treatment doesn't affect more innocent children.

I know it's not my fault but you hear parents say, "I didn't see it coming.." and I always thought I am part wonder woman and had some mysterious powers and always knew everything that went on with my kids. Deep down I know it's not my fault but it's hard to stifle those thoughts of "letting them down and failing them". But, I do know time will heal and I just need to take it day by day. THanks for the positive reply and encouragement. I needed that.