Violent teen – help needed - FamilyEducation
Violent teen – help needed
01/15/2008 at 00:35 AM

We have set out to try and found help for my violent and increasingly defiant son (17yrs). He is becoming violent towards us. He is using violent and disruptive behavior to control our lives and actions. If we don’t do what he wants he will scream and yell. When that does not yield results for him he begins throwing things (clothing that was ironed and folded, DVD cases, ect) also keeping us awake at night by make loud noises. He has also become violent – pushing and shoving us. We have called the police on a few occasions, however that yielded zero results. The police refused to do anything other than tell him to act better. In some cases they have talked with him about acting better but they don’t seem to really care or have any solutions for us.


We have been seeking out help for years…The biggest problem is we are too rich to get financial help and too poor to pay for any help on our own. We have seen a few doctors (pediatric doctor, psychologists). But as I stated the money was a problem. Our insurance would only pay for about 4 meetings with a psychologist. And as many of you are thinking, his/our problems could not be helped in 4 meetings.


We cannot continue on with this, the only advice we have gotten was to see this or that doctor- which we cannot afford.


Any advice would be greatly appreciated…

Have you gotten any kind of diagnosis? 

  My 3rd child, a girl, was a always a challenge.  I figured out on my own that she had attachment problems.  When I took her to the therapist my pediatrician recommended, he decided  from the information that I provided, that her problem was something quite different.  She had had a terrible trauma (my fault) which could lead one to believe that, but as a family, we had dealt quite well with that trauma. 

  This is a long story, but there is a point, hang on. 

Anyway, we went to therapy (our part was $25 a session) for months, NO PROGRESS.  Finally, I asked the therapist how his recommendations were supposed to  help with attachment problems.  We met again the following week.  He made some recommendations.  When we reported back the next week, we had made some progress.  He told my daughter that she could call hiim anytime.  But that we were done.  She called him once, he told her (basically) that I was the mom.  And we were done.  Now we love each other.  She is awesome!  and happy, and successful, and motivated and kind and . . . .

   If you can get a good diagnosis some severe problems can be handled in 4 sessions.  One to asses, one to develop trust, one to address the issues, one to report back.  The trick is getting the good diagnosis.