Update on the boyfriend's Whacko Mom..... - FamilyEducation
Update on the boyfriend's Whacko Mom.....
11/15/2009 at 12:54 PM

I want to thank everyone who helped me when I initally wrote on this forum about the wacky mother that belongs to my daughter's boyfriend. Please see my earlier post on here for the full story.

There were some things I could do to help the problem and others that would not work. I could not change my phone number as it would have complicated things on our end with family and friends, not to mention, the boyfriend would have the number anyway and his mother would eventually gain access to it as well. That idea had to be let go.

I did tell the mother that I no longer want to hear about issues between her and her son and that I am not her parenting advocate for him. She needs to raise him and I will raise my own children, thank you. it seemed to work for awhile and then she recently found out that I did not like her last rant about the "walking home" issue and that i thought she was nuts. I have a feeling that her son clued her in to the fact that i don't like the drama she provides or the weirdo stories that come to me via phone calls. When he told her this, she went nuts and has now called my house for the past three days and is leaving 4-5 minute voicemails on my phone. She sounds like she is either three sheets to the wind or just plain out of it too! At the tail end of one message, she spent a minute talking to her cat on my phone! This is unreal. I saved the messages and played them to my husband. He does nothing and just thinks that she is asking for a friendship. I can be friends with people but this lady is a real weirdo and I do not see myself being "friends" with her. She is annoying, strange, and just plain whacko! I did not return any of these messages that she left. Do you think that I should or just keep ignoring her?

I did take everyone's advice and have continued to allow the boyfriend to be involved with my daughter and also visit our home to see her. I do realize that he doesn't want to be like his mother and that he is embarrassed by her and her weirdness. He tells me this. I don't talk badly to him about his mom even though I think she's a nuisance. I know that would be wrong and hurtful so I deal with it on my own. I guess I'm going to have to take a real weird and strange entity being part of my life in exchange for my daughter's happiness with her boyfriend at this time. Part of me cringes when I think about it and on the flip-side, I realize my daughter is 15 1/2 and hopefully this romance won't make it the long haul of her teenage life. That's what I can report to you guys as of right now. What do you think of all this?

Yes, continue to ignore her. You do not have to be friends with her. You are right that your daughter may move on from this boyfriend. You can feel good knowing your are giving this young man the chance to be involved in a more healthy family than his own. Best wishes on being able to continue to deal with this in a positive manner which he surely appreciates.

Be an especially good chaperone. The drama may seem romantic to a young girl, and the boy, even if he's a genuinely good kid, is subject not only to the unusual stress of his situation, but also to the perfectly normal stress of being an adolescent. Good kids get pregnant, too.

Agreed. A good example now in the news is Sarah Palin's daughter.

2xstepmom I'm telling you ... i married a guy who's mom was a nut,and he was mean to her and a prince to me. After we got married, guess what ... he wasn't nice anymore. Make sure you make it known to your daughter that family dynamics are very important and does she want a crazy mother in law? Worse yet ... someone who disrespects his crazy mom and is aggressive to her may do the same to his wife. Additionally, tell her that she shouldn't even date someone that she doesn't want to marry ... or feels would not be a good husband. Because you end up marrying the person you are dating who you enver suspected you would end up with. Avoid mistakes and avoid relationships with people who have unhealthy family situations that aren't like yours.