I have an eighteen-year-old daughter who is really stressing our family. I just joined this forum in hopes of finding answers to our dilemma.
Last evening around 10:00pm my wife and I managed to get our daughter to sit with us to discuss her situation she never talks to us, she tries to avoid us, and she has no friends. She is currently taking two evening classes at a local community college and working for minimum wage as an assistant groomer at a big pet store chain.
Our discussion was focused on how she is doing with her classes. She said that she was not sure but that she did not think she was doing very well and she probably wanted to quit. My wife became very upset with this because she had just taken a leave of absence from the four-year college she had just attended for one semester because she was not doing her work or attending classes. We tried to explain to her that she should take advantage of her opportunity to get a college education while we supported her financially. She told us that she wanted to move out to get away from us but we explained to her that she could not support herself financially… she has no concept of costs of living, insurance, bills…She suddenly started acting hysterical and saying that we wouldn’t really care if she was dead and that that would be a good solution to her troubles. She pulled a knife from the kitchen drawer and carefully rubbed it across her wrist. We did not think that she would really hurt herself but she was getting more excited and she raised the knife and said that she was going to plunge it into her stomach. I did not want her to accidently hurt herself so I grabbed her hand, wrestled her to the floor and removed the knife. She lunged at her mother who is much smaller and weaker than she is so I restrained her to the floor again. I subdued her after a struggle but she went for the knife drawer again once released her so I wrested her again. This exercise continued several times as she continued to try to run out of the house. Her 16-year brother was standing by to help restrain her because he was worried as I was that she would do something harmful.
She next ran to, locked herself in our office, and then managed to remove a screen and escape out of a very small window into the 20 to 30 degree night with shorts, tee shirt and no shoes. My wife and I decided to let her go after collecting all of the car keys. We expected her to eventually go into our separate garage/apartment building for the night but her brother went outside to search for her.
The following morning we received a call from her grandmother that she had arrived at her home around midnight, which is some 2 miles away.
I could go on and on about her but I am very uncomfortable with the way we are dealing with her and I do not know what to do.