Hello. I am a mother of two teenage daughters. One is 13 and the other is almost 16. I think I just stuck my foot in my mouth here this morning regarding my older daughter and 2 of her friends. I need some help. Last night, I found my older daughter crying in her room. When I asked her why, she told me that her friends are really changing and that she is totally left out. She explained that 2 of them in the group have gotten into heavy partying...drinking, smoking, smoking weed. These 2 seem to dictate down to the rest and are now influencing the others through peer pressure. My daughter is the only one standing her ground and not enagaging in the wild partying, booze, and smoking. Because of this, she is being excluded from teen gatherings or any occassion when her friends are all together. Basically, if it's not G or PG rated...they don't invite my daughter along with them.
We talked about all of this and I did give her suggestions on how to handle these issues. However, I was really holding in my anger and disappointment in these girls that have been my daughter's friends for years. What a bunch of morons! Anyway, this morning, like clockwork, 2 of the partying friends from last night texted her to come over. It's daytime and the partying is over so now it's time to allow my child into the mix. As furious as I was, I did take her over to her friends house but as soon as I saw the 2 girls, I felt the sadness & hurt come up into my chest and I said something to them. I just looked at them and said...."You know, I thought all of you were friends and supported one another. I'm a bit mad at you two because it's obvious to me now that you really don't." Their faces were stunned but judging by the last looks, they knew that I KNEW about all the pot smoking, partying, beer, etc. that is now going on and also the crappy way that they don't accept my daughter's choices to refrain from that lifestyle. They KNEW.
About 2 seconds later, as I drove away, I wanted to turn back the clock and kick myself for doing that. I probably should have said nothing and just let my daughter talk to them and handle this her way. I feel 100% TERRIBLE right now. Worse yet, I may have just made it worse for my own daughter. I let my feelings get the best of me and I regret it...bigtime. Can anyone out there give me some advice? I know that parents make mistakes but is what I did the worst or do you guys think it will be okay? I just hope my own child doesn't hate me right now or stop talking to me because I could not control my feelings. I slipped up. I'm human. I'm also feeling like scum. Foot in mouth for sure here! HELP!