my 13 year old is driving me insane - FamilyEducation
my 13 year old is driving me insane
01/09/2011 at 00:35 AM

My teenage daughter is a nightmare. i am lost as where to go or what to do. today is my final straw when she threatened to stab me in my sleep.....all because i wanted her to clean her room before she had computer time. it ended up with her smashing me up side the head three times and kicking at me and puching at me becuase once i asked her to do something the attitude started and then it esscallated from there. then she thought she would be brazen and call 911 on me. For what taking her off me and trying to calm her down. yes i pinned her but she was going crazy. i called her bluff and she called. the officer came and even though i had already went to my room crying because i camt deal with her abuse. I am not allowed to touch her but she can abuse me? i honestly dont know how i didnt because i was inraged at this point. also due to the fact the my husband stood there and let her go crazy. he is supposed to help me and maybe thats why our marriage is rocky at times because he always takes her side and gives in to her and doesnt support me or punish her or even follow through on the punishments that i inforce. even today for example after everything that she put me through he still thought that it was ok for her to go on a sleepover......which i wouldnt let her win that one so that caused another fight. he also thought that she should have phone and computer privilages i alone here?
i feel like i am rambling here but it feels good to get things off my chest. i feel so alone and useless because i dont know where i am going wrong. No i didnt get her a cell phone yet because she is irresponsible. No i wont let her pierce her belly button....but yet she stole m,y credit cards and tried to buy her own piercing gun online. Yes i will come to her sc hool and do random checks to make sure she doeant skip school again or to check and see if she is in detention like she says she is. And when you steal cigarettes and lighters from me i will go to school and search her locker randomly. and when she gives me attitude i am going to yell at times when nothing i try to do pleases her. i know i am not alone and i am sorry for anyone who is going through what i am. i need help because she is hurting our family and i cant take the stress any more.

You shouldn't be sleeping in that house. If you are there, go sleep at someone else's house. Tell the police she threatened you. Get her in detention. Get your family some effective counseling. If you are still at home--leave now.

What did the officer do when he came to your home? Was he told that your daughter threatend you with bodily harm? That is terroristic threatening. Was a police report filed? How is her behavior at school? Does she have friends? A good therapist can help change the family dynamic and return control of your family to the adults. Family therapy will be most helpful, if that is not possible, find a therapist who can help you and your daughter.

Teen years are indeed challenging but when you're fighting against an entire society trend (cell phones, computer etc) it's even worst. My mom used to say: "it takes a community to raise kids" and I firmly believe it. For one thing death threats must be called upon and reported immediately, especially if you feel in danger!! Also, for anything to work, the couple must be preaching the same thing and must be supportive of each other otherwise you're fighting a battle alone. The kid knows that she's fighting one-on-one and is encouraged to destroy you.

Seek therapy with hubby and yourself first, and rather than you checking at the school and all, ask the school to help you with the checking. You'd be surprised how much schools are happy to help as there are not as many parents that work hard with their kids and care to make things better. Also, you can seek help from the cops' support line. Primarely though: protect will not achieve anything if you burn out. Good luck.

I agree with Sunshine27