Hi there, I have been reading your posts and having felt such support I had to post. I have a 16 year old daughter and recently divorced her father who was an incredibly controlling individual. The divorce was nasty and he spent a lot of time pouring poison into her ear to the extent that we both tried to avoid him for the duration of the process. We used to be very close and, to give her her due, she does still talk to me about things in her life; recently (the last 7 months) since we moved out, she has become lazy, argumentative and deliberately awkward. She refuses to help around the house no matter whether I ask nicely, threaten or lose my temper. I am about to introduce the actions/consequences rule again (tonight in fact) and will confiscate the house phone and refuse to do her laundry until it arrives in the correct place. She is rude to me at times and has self harmed in the past. My boufriend is far more patient with her than I am although I try my utmost not to get drawn into an argument, simply state the facts and leave it at that. She also slams doors and complains about my cooking. I am at a complete loss as to how to handle her now as I'm convinced that she is trying to get a rise out of me. Any advice would be great ..