How to Stop Son's Friend's Requests to "Borrow" His Stuff - FamilyEducation
How to Stop Son's Friend's Requests to "Borrow" His Stuff
05/03/2011 at 12:09 PM

My 13 yr. old son has one 'friend' (14 yrs) that repeatedly requests to borrow from him when his own items are not working. I thought we had this nipped in the butt last fall, but apparently not so...

These boys along with many of their friends have motocross dirtbikes. These are expensive toys $4k, and my son worked hard saving/raising money and I helped him to buy his. My son has been thinking of selling/trading his bike for a 4 wheeler as my bf and I both do alot of trail rides, and he would like to take part.

One of the boys has had problems with his bike resulting in having to have it's engine rebuilt three times over the last year.

Last fall my son lent his bike to him and then my bf discovered him riding with another friend while he rode his brother's bike. My bf had it parked.

This morning I received the following text message from the boy.

as you might know, I blew the Engine in my 150 again And the first race is at (racetrack)this weekend, I would ride (his brother's) bike but he is racing too, I was wondering if it would be ok if I rode (my son's) 150, I know its alot but I need the point for the season. I can come pick it up and when I am done riding I will change the oil, clean the air filter, wash the bike SPOTLESS so ready to sell check it all over and grease all the nuts n bolts and then take it back to your house, If this could work I would be really appreciative !

do you think that would be alright with you?any way I got to go, if you could let me know that would be great!

How do I politely say NO and drive home the point. His own bike needs repairs...if he crashes my son's bike in the race who is going to repair it? His own bike would get fixed first and my son will have nothing to ride...

I need to settle this once and for all without creating any hard feelings. Help!

If you regard the bike as belonging to the boy, because he paid for it and you only helped him, then you just suck it up and let it get ruined. Make clear to your boy that you will not be helping him with repairs. Then let him choose. Valuable learning experience for him. If you really think the bike is yours, even though your boy paid for it and you only helped him, then you can go ahead and lock up the bike. You get to choose. Good luck!

Just say "NO!". Talk to the boy's parents and let them know your rules on this.

If you say no, it is best not to offer explanations or justifications. Something like, "Johnny told me that Max wanted to borrow his bike. I'm sorry, I'm going to have to say no." Then start another subject or say goodbye. If they insist on asking why, you say "I decided I would have to say no."