How to handle this???
06/19/2011 at 09:23 AM

We have a 17yo. She is very secretive, almost non-communicative with us. We understand she is at an age where she is trying to break-off from her parents and become her own independent person. We get it.

However, because of that strained relationship, my husband went in her room to "look" and came across her journal. He wasn't going to read it, wished he didn't. When he flipped through, he saw several pages of extremely graphic and disgusting pornographic writing about a sexual encounter between her and her boyfriend. (Whether it was real or fabricated we don't know, she did use their names in the writing) Then there were pages vividly describing degrading sex games (some with bondage) using all the worst possible slang terms for body parts and sexual activities.

We were absolutely nauseated by what we read. This isn't the first time we were aware of using dirty talk to her boyfriend. Her younger sibling saw a txt she sent to her bf. It was nothing and really innocent compared to this. I could understand a teenagers romantic feelings and talking about romantic making love type things, but this was blatant, raw, XXX movie stuff.

We have an idea on how we will handle this, we have NO idea on how to get the conversation started. She will know we snooped, that sets us up for an argument right out of the box.

Any suggestions? Thanks!