How do I take back the control? - FamilyEducation
How do I take back the control?
10/18/2009 at 18:33 PM

I made a mustake in giving my teen daughter 17 going on 25, too much freedom to the point
of her not asking for permission to do things. She has a job and work swing shift. When she gets off late, she stays at her friends house overnight. It was fine in the beginning....but now she wants to stay there all the time. She comes home a few nights a week. My husband is gone every other day driving truck. I work till 7 at night. Our daughter gets a ride to work or takes a bus.
The only time she comes home is for bus money or medical attention. She acts funny like shes up to something...she not telling us. When I get on her about her being home because she lives here, she just complains about
me nagging and thats why she hates being home. If I cut her off from all the needs we provide, I'm afraid of the out come! Please give any advice. Thanks.

I don't know that you made a mistake. We act like a switch turns on the child's 18th birthday. It is true that you are legally responsible for her until that moment, but it is not necessarily true that she is irresponsible until that moment. It may be that she really has grown up a little early, and you will make more headway by being respectful of her adult behavior than by forcing her to remain a child. If she turns 18 soon, just wait it out. If she just turned 17 and you are concerned that she may do things that you would have to legally repair, ask her if she wants to be an emancipated minor. Try to maintain the relationship, not to maintain control.