How do I deal w/ my 13 y/o twin daughters who are jealous, making me feel guilty to give attention to my fiancee?
06/30/2008 at 00:42 AM
Some background: I am divorced for 8 years and have always spent more than enough quality time with my daughters. She is also divorced and has one son who's mature enough to understand, and the other is in college.

The problem: My fiancee is seeing a "competition" between my daughters and herself, saying that the situation is causing tention and hurting our relationship. At times, my daughters complain in front of her, and I do not know how to confront them about it. Yes, I am somewhat guilty of giving in to my daughters when they pull my strings. To me, it seems that they are stuggling to understand the difference in the type of love or attention I give to them, and my (soon to be ex?) fiancee. Some sample quotes from my daughters... How come you always want to be with her so much? You always open the door for her and not me... You laugh at everything she says... You hold hands so much... Do you love her more than me??

How do I explain this to my daugthers? Please help!

Just be honest with them. Try to explain as best you can that they will always be your daughters and you love them every bit as much as you always have. You also love your fiancee and maytbe you shouls all get together to have a family meeting to discuss feelings. Your fiancee should be there too so she can give her imput. Good luck.


Stay focused on your daughters. You responsibility it to them first. Spending quality time isn't enough. See your fiance when your daughters aren't around and get married when they are 18 and off to college. If she loves you then she will wait the 5 years. I know it is hard, but your daughters matter more.