I am a new member to the message boards but I am a long time lurker. I decided to post this in order to see if I can get some help with my trust issues with my oldest daughter.
First some background on me and my family.
I am a single father of three teenagers, two daughters one 16 years old, and the other 13, and a 14 year old boy. We live in a small community population of just under 300. my kids have always been good kids, I have always been lucky in that they haven’t given me any real problems.
A week or so ago, I caught my oldest sneaking out of he house to see her boyfriend, She swears that she is still a virgin, and nothing happened other then they went driving around with two other people in a car that she wasn’t sure if either of the other people were the owners of it.. Of course the argument afterwards wasn’t pretty.
This is my problem.
I am not seeing anyone currently, romantically or otherwise and therefore have no one I can talk to except a neighbor. She said I need to loosen my reigns on her a little, that I am very over bearing. And I accepted this, and have done as she suggests and everything seems to be working out great, but I am scared.
She asked if she could stay the night at one of her friend’s house this upcoming weekend. And I said yes (this is something that had been set up during the summer). But I just can’t get passed my trusting problems with her.
Am I doing the right thing by letting her go to her friends?
Should I give her my trust now, and hope that she has learned her lesson and if she does something again. What should I do?
Am I setting up my self for a major disappointment? I don’t want my other two kids to look at this as a weakness in me, and that they can do as they please. I did discipline her I restricted her to the house for a while. But am still going to let her go see her friend. What else can I do, we have talks now, each night, we talk about what happened during the day, I know that a teen girl has more stress on her then a boy and I want to help her.
Can someone point me in the right direction?