Feel like daughter has no use for me - FamilyEducation
Feel like daughter has no use for me
11/12/2007 at 03:10 AM


I have a 13 year old daughter  (8th grade) and she has  alot of friends and is very outgoing.  She is always busy and always wants to have sleepovers at friends' houses and have dinner at friends' houses.  

I feel that just about everyone is preferable to me at this point and it's really starting to get to me.

The "old days" of hanging out together and watching tv shows that we both loved  are flying away, as our the outings here and there.  Now I'm pretty much just her driver.

I'm very happy that she's successful socially, because that has always been really tough for me, but I miss her so much.

I don't want her to be with me out of guilt, so what do I do?

It is a mother's job to make herself obsolete.  It sounds like you have done a great job.  I would probably say that she needs to only have sleepovers on Friday nights, and alternate, every other one is at home, and, of course, you and the other parents have to agree about supervision and activities.Then Sunday mornings can be family time.  Don't make it about guilt, just a family rule.  You can still make family rules as long as the children live in your home.  And Saturday nights are just ripe for trouble.  I would also make at least a few evenings during the week be family dinner nights.  Research shows that families that eat dinner together have children with lots of good outcomes, college education, reduced delinquency and drug use, fewer teen-age pregnancies.  Again, I wouldn't tell her why I am instituting these rules, I would just make them.