Daughter Won't Get Over Ex Boyfriend - FamilyEducation
Daughter Won't Get Over Ex Boyfriend
02/16/2012 at 01:59 AM

This is my first time posting. I hope someone can offer some advice. My 14 year old daughter dated a boy for about 6 months. This was her first "real" boyfriend she has ever had. It was pretty simple (texting, group dates, walking out of school). They broke up a few times and then got back together but he cheated on her and now it is officially over. Here's the problem... it's February and this ended in November and she still hasn't moved on. At first she was really sad. She cried at night but was surrounded by supportive friends and myself. We are very close and she tells me alot. Now she has moved from being sad to being in flat out denial. She talks about him all the time like he's still part of her life. She has her friends talk to him. She walks by him at lunch etc. She WONT move on. She is a young 14 and this all started when she was 13. So maybe she is just too young and immature. I'm sure it's my fault for letting her date so young. He is getting tired of her still hanging on and is started to get mean. (I don't blame him...it's over)!! I was always a strong woman. If someone didn't like me then I wasn't about to waste my time. She is totally opposite. I can't believe she would even still like this kid. Why can't she move on. She still has his pictures on her phone and in her room. He even has a new girlfriend and she doesn't seem to mind. I guess my biggest fear is she's a push over and will be a future "door mat" to some other guy. I have given her so much advice on how to get over him. I've even given her self help teen books to read and she is obsessed with this boy.

One of the problems with early dating is that the teen's sense of self worth gets tangled up with having a boyfriend or girlfriend. I would suggest counseling.

Thank you for responding. I agree her sense of self worth is very tangled up with having a boyfriend. I feel like I'm to blame for letting her date! I thought it was age appropriate and I never saw this coming. She has good friends and is very involved at school and with extra curricular activites but....here we are! I agree with the counseling. I may wait it out a little bit longer then go that route. She doesn't even seem sad anymore as much as he is a habit and an obsession! Thanks again.