Daughter and Dating - FamilyEducation
Daughter and Dating
06/13/2013 at 15:26 PM

I have a 17 year old daughter who has been dating a young man for a year. He just graduated high school and has decided to join the Navy and leaves in February. My daughter motivated him to go to the recruiter by encouraging his childhood dream. His mother is adamantly opposed to him joining and is already trying to talk him out of it and he only signed a contract 1 day ago. His family doesn't have money to send him to college, and he wants to pursue a military career. My daughter had to go to the recruiter with him to motivate him to get the process started. He treats my daughter very nice, but my problem is that he doesn't have a drivers license or a job, and seemingly doesn't have a lot of motivation to get either he leaves in 8 months and I feel that he should be doing something between now and then. When I confront my daughter she has a million excuses for him. I recently told her that until I see progress towards getting a job and a drivers license that she cannot see him, and that I feel that he doesn't need distractions while he is doing those things. I went through something similar with my ex (her dad) not working and having very little self motivation. I am starting to see a pattern of behavior. Am I doing the right thing by not allowing her to see him until he makes some progress on those fronts? Any experiences or opinions would be helpful.