dating - FamilyEducation
05/09/2007 at 12:28 PM

my son is 18 & 1/2 years old and has never had a girl friend and shows no interest what so ever in the opposite sex (he is not gay ive herd him speak quite horribly about them) and he just gives me one of those ugggaas groans ever time i try to talk to him about it, or any thing for a matter of  fact, im concerned about this and for some reason i get the feeling its a lot more deeper than just "maybe he's just not ready to date yet"

Is he a shy person? Maybe he just feels uncomfortable talking to you about girls. What makes you think it is more than "maybe he's just not ready to date yet"?


Firstly, just because your son is homophobic does not mean that he is not gay. In fact, his homophobia may be due to his own insecurities about his sexuality. Also, whether your son is gay or straight, you should definitely talk to him about respecting and accepting homosexuality, and make it clear that negative and derogatory comments are unacceptable. You should also make it clear that you are tolerant, and you will accept and love him no matter what happens or whom he dates. Make sure he knows that your home is a safe place, regardless of his sexual orientation.

Another possible: there is a small percentage of the population that is asexual. You can learn more about this here:

Additionally, it is possible that he may just not be interested in dating yet, or he may unsure about how to start. Perhaps the notion of dating makes him nervous. It could be as simple as him being a late bloomer.


well Kish i dont know if you have kids or not but when your a parent some times you can just sense weather somethings right or wrong, and i just got one of those feelings, Cocoa im sorry for getting off track there but take my word for it male male relationships disgust him, i dont know if he has low self esteem or if he is depressed or if he is just so lazy he doesnt want to make an effort




Have you talked to him about whether or not he is depressed?  Maybe he is more interested than you think he is and he just doesn't really know how to go about it.  My husband really never had a serious girl-friend before me, he did date a few girls but nothing serious and his parents didn't really know anything about any of his dating.  It took my husband over a year of us being friends for him to ask me out---over a year!


Maybe he just hasn't met the right person to bring him out of his shell.  Is he is college?  Do you feel that he is okay socially otherwise?




Maybe he is embarrased about something physically and that is keeping him from dating.


Why are you guys going to the extreme about this?


Why is so important for you son to start dating?


Why not encourage your son to focus on his schooling? He should excell in school, and get a good career so that when he is ready to date he has something to offer ( and if the girl gets pregnant at least he'll be financially stable).


“It's not easy being a mother. If it were easy, fathers would do it.” - The Golden Girls



I totally agree with your comment.  I have a 18 1/2 year old step daughter living with me, and has for 8 years, and she is the same, shy, and she has concentrated on her school, and has done fantastic, even though she struggled in the lower grades.  She has struggled so much and has made it and is now after taking a year off, working part time, going into the police foundation for college/university.

I totally agree, you don't have to push your children to have a boyfriend/girlfriend, and then there is my 12 year old daughter, and my hormonal 14  year old son. ha, it's all about being a mom and enjoying your children....