I would appreciate all the help I could get on this issue.
I have a 15 year old daughter who I feel is very cold an unfeeling towards others. She currently has been in a relationship with a almost 17 year old boy for just over 5 months. Today she has decided that she doesn't know how she feels about him anymore and seems to think that it's okay that she just ignores him and lets him think everything is okay.
I know I sound like an interfering mother and have gotten quite attached to this kid as he has been included in our family pretty much since the day he came on the scene. He comes from a single parent home and has a mom that really doesnt care much about what he does. He also has an identical twin brother who he does not get along with because his mother favours the other boy. I feel sorry for him because I grew up in a similar situation and I know how hard it is when you don't have much and you also don't have parents who care and support you. I almost feel like I have taken on the surrogate mother role to try and give him a better life which I know may be wrong.
I just cannot comprehend how she can treat someone like this. This young man is very respectful of her, worships the ground she walks on and will be devastated if she breaks up with him. She was away at camp in the summer and this young man waited for the two months for her to come out and would do anything for her. He has never attempted to take advantage of her and I know this for certain. She is not sexually active and has no desire to be as she says she is just not ready for that and I truly believe her.
She just seems to get tired of people and relationships very quickly and doesnt seem to care how others feel. I'm not asking that she marry this poor kid just cut him a break and try to be more understanding of others feelings.
She is very busy with school, cadets, work and now has undertaken a lead role in a school play which consumes every minute of every day. She does well in school but music and art are all she thinks about. She is also very spoiled and wants for nothing which makes her not respect the things that she has and is very irresponsible with her belongings as she knows if something gets lost or broken, it is going to be replaced.
I never seem to follow through on anything I say to her because I hate having to say no to either of my children. (I also have an 8 year old daughter)
I support everything she does 150% but just can't seem to shake how she treats other people.
I know I need to cut the cord but I have such a hard time letting her be responsible for her own actions. I feel like I always bail her out and am constantly covering up for her whether it be with her homework or her life in general. I just don't want to see her fail. I know that's a part of growing up but it's a rough part.
I am reading this back over and I think the main problem is me!!
Is it wrong to only want the best for my children and how do I go about staying out of her business and letting her live her life on her own?
Thank you for your comments. Any help would be appreciated.