Please help!!!! Im at my wits end I have a mother in law who doesnt make an effort with my children who are 6 and 3 (my motehr in law isnt elderly she is only 43 years old). On numerous occasions my husband and I have told her she needs to make an effort as she favours her other grandchild over our children. Just recently I had rung her to find out why she had rung our children for there birthdays and her excuses were: "my son doesnt call me for my birthday" "my grandparents were never in my life" "I cant have your children over its to much for me" "Why would I waste my petrol in driving 50 mins to come and see you and the kids" "you didnt care that I was sick" "you should have got your 6 year old to call and I would have to him why I didnt call" "they have to many people at there birthdays to even know Im there" and that is to name a few, just by reading this is shows she really doesnt care but if that was the case why does she have her other grandson 3 times a week and helps her other daughter during her pregnancy and cant be bothered helping us. Both my husband and I have explained to her that we dont want anything from her just for her to make an effort and come over for a coffee and spend time with the kids when her other children get her to run around for them, look after there kids for days on end just because her daughter needs a break. Just recently at xmas she made a point in stateing that all the grandkids got the same presents which we appreciated and told her so then a few days later I saw a toy at her house that my son had asked santa to buy and I was laughing and telling her the whole story about it and had asked were she had got it and she said "oh I bought it for Sam (her other grandson) and I said to her "but i thought all teh kids got the same my son would have loved one of them" and she said "oh well I bought all the kids the same and Sam got some extra thing" yep a $100 extra toy. Could someone please tell me how to deal with this as everytime I think about it I get anxious and nervous and I really feel for my kids as they havent done anything wrong and we have always gone to see her and I have definatly made an effort in calling every couple of weeks just to see how she is and if she needs anything or just popped in for a cuppa but nothing seems to make any difference I dont know if we should just cut her out or try and mend this even though this has been going on for 6 years since my son was born.