09/04/2007 at 10:45 AM

My daughter is 21 months old. We were finger painting. I told her several time not to touch the so on with her wet painted hands. She did an ok job listening at first. I praised her.

After about 15 minutes she kept trying to touch things other than her paper! I told her over and over not to. Then I started cleaning up and said painting time was over. On the way to the bathtub to wash our hands..she tried to touch several things. I told her no no no. Then IN the bathtub she grabbed my nail brush before i could stop her.

 I was really annoyed and yelled "NO" Then she grabbed a rubber duck and I just lost it! I smacked the duck out of her hands. I took her out the tub and hit her on her butt 3 times. She cried. I took her to her room and hit her 2 more times on her butt. She yelled and cried. I put her in her bed and left the room.

5 minutes later, I went back in the room and she talked to me like nothing ever happened. Laughing and jumping around on her bed and singing songs. 

I feel horrible!!!! just awful! like a horrible bad mother!!! I know I must have hurt her because my hand hurt! and my hand was red. I just lost it! I don't know why! I told her over and over to NOT touch anything! She is 21 months old...i never hit her before. Why did this happen? How do i make sure it never happends again? HELP!

Hey qualls,


First of all, stop beating yourself up.  You can't change what has already happened.  Next time, when you feel yourself losing your temper, count to ten and try to breathe so that you don't lose it.  If you can, remove yourself from the situation or your child from the situation until you can not be angry. 


Anyone else have any ideas?




Thanks Marti!

I will surely do that next time.




I  agree with Marti's advice. I have the same problem quite often. I've never been a very patient person and having a stubborn three year old certainly doesn't help. It's very easy to lose your temper with young children. Just wanted to let ya know that you most certainly are not alone!


next time, put her in her room, quiet area, etc immediately and leave the room. That way you will separate yourself from her and can't spank her.  She is too young for a spanking and wouldn't understand your rush of emotions/frustration.  Also, did you get enough sleep the previous night/something stressful going on? I find that lots of sleep for mom really helps!