Hello...new here! - FamilyEducation
Hello...new here!
12/19/2007 at 20:49 PM

Hi, my name is Natasha.  I am married with an 18-month old son, Aidan.  Our biggest issues are potty training ( is he ready) and tantrums.  If you have any advice, please let me know!



I am SOOOO OOOOLD.  My first kid was in cloth diapers, and we knew she was ready when she would wake up with a dry diaper.  It was a lot harder with my younger children to know.  Boys usually are older than girls when they are ready to train. 

Tantrums-- enough sleep, enough water, and frequent snacks.  It's amazing how much that kind of managing helps.


At 18 months, your son is probably not ready to be potty trained.  You cannot rush any child into doing this early.  It's just not physically possible for them.  That could be leading to some frustrations (for all of you!) and could be the cause of the tantrums.  

It always helps me to try to look at things from my child's perspective.


I would really be surprised if your 18 month old is ready to be potty trained.  My 3rd is 19 months and  in my experience, if there is a lot of fussin', they are not ready.  My guy can tell me when he has 'stinked' but he is not ready for the potty.  Give another few months and try again.  Just a little note for you to remember-in order to train him, you first must 'train' yourself.  By that I mean, you must mark a week off from all other duties and give solely to potty training and you and your baby will get along great with no fussing.  Make this a 'happy and exciting' new thing for him -- praise will go a long way! I found that week that you plan, you must have no interuptions, must stay at home and accept no engagements.  You can not start potty training, then take a day off--it must be consistant.  If you both are getting frusterated, the potty training will not happen.   When my oldest was 22 months, I told him I was buying no more pampers.  We did a count down-- when they were all gone, he knew what he must do!  This will not work for everyone, but it did for him.  My daughter was hearing impared, so potty training did not happen until she was 24 months--no bed wetting, no 'accidents'.  Her body was ready.  Good luck!


I am an Early Years Practitioner who works exclusively with 2 year olds. Out of the 21 children on our register only four of them are completely potty trained, and we have another three in the process. The children who are potty trained are all within a few months of their third birthday. The children are ready when they can actually tell when they are going to do something in their nappy or feel uncomfortable when they have. They need to understand that part of the process first otherwise you are just taking pot luck [no pun intended]. Sometimes when children are potty trained too early, they regress later and have lots of accidents.
You can introduce the potty now and get her used to it, but take a very relaxed approach. When you do start potty training, keep it very positive even when she doesn't perform. Lots and lots of praise when she does something and if she doesn't, say something like 'well thank you for trying. I am very happy you sat on your potty'
The kind of potty can be of major importance too. We have small traditional ones, chair type potties, and of course special toilet seats. The children can decide what they want to use and what they feel comfortable with.. Some evn want to sit on the toilet like an adult and in the case of boys, stand on a little step. This is more difficult unless they are very good at holding and aiming. [Sometimes they forget to hold and spray like a wayward hose]
Good luck when you decide to take this major step.

As for tantrums, although I work with the 'terrible twos' I don't see too many tantrums because we work in a Froebelian/ Montessori, Steiner environment. The children are free to choose what they want to do [as long as it is safe and doesn't disturb any of their friends] and dictate their own learning. A lot of tantrums arise when a child is thwarted from what they want to do, or they want to do something which they are as yet unable to do because they have not developed enough in that area. If you want to stop your child from doing something, ask yourself first why. Is it unsafe or unhealthy. Will it harm any person or property, do you hold strong moral or religious objections to it. I learned in my personal life to ask these questions, and often came up with the answer that it was okay for my child to do this.

Above all, enjoy every moment of your child's development and good luck.


P.S. as for potty training. When you decide the time is right, take them shopping with you to buy her new 'big girl or boy pants' and let them choose. There are some wonderful designs out there. Most popular in our work are 'Bob the Builder' and 'Preincess' pants.