Daycare vs. Grandma care - FamilyEducation
Daycare vs. Grandma care
07/29/2008 at 20:36 PM

Ok I have a huge problem. I have a two year old her name is Alivia. She is a bright but shy toddler who basically has a mind of her own. I have recently been faced with a problem of having to choose between a great Church based day care and my mom who has helped me care for Alivia since she was born. My mom is a diabetic and has had a recent set back and has been in the hospital. I have been put in the tough spot of having to find child care because my mom has always been that person and everyone else in my family works... go figure. Well I got Alivia enrolled in a great daycare everyone highly recommends the church and they start immediately teaching her the basics even with her being two. Well my mom is under the impression that once she is 100% cleared from the doc that she is going to go back to keeping Alivia full time, but is this such a great idea? Alivia got the last spot in this church and they only have 11 spots available for two year olds. They provide a structure which being a working mom and having a husband that also works is something tough to develop and keep. However, I don't want to hurt my mom by saying I really want to leave her in this environment because its basically going to get her ready for Pre-K. I just don't know what to do. I'm stuck because Alivia has kept my mom going and she is the only grandchild but I don't want to deprive Alivia of the chance to make new friends and learn new things. She is so smart and she has such a great little character... will me getting her in this church based daycare be a good thing or will it be a mistake and should i just basically just call it a temporary thing?

You know the answer already. As a parent you know that your child interacting with other kids her own age,learning social skills, as well as being in a learning environment, is what is best for HER. Grandma may not like it, but this is not about grandma. When we are parents, kids come first. I would ask the daycare if they have a need for volunteers. If they do, have grandma go and help out.

I'm a grandma that watched all 13 of my grand children plus now I'm watching my 2 great grand children. Let me speak from experience and as much as I love my grand children, it is a job for the younger generation.You would never get me to believe that at first. If your daughter gets ill and you can't stay home then ask your mom to sit till daughter feels better.You can't take a sick child to day care. Use your mom for extra special times. But please make sure she gets plenty of "grandma time".

Is Alivia enjoying the structured, more academic program? Is she having fun with the extra social interaction or does it stress her out? If Alivia likes Grandma and day-care equally well, I would probably keep her in daycare just because it is another disruption to put her back with Grandma. I like the idea of holding Grandma in reserve for sick days and for extra special times.
"getting her ready for Pre-K" The way anybody does that is read, sing, color, play with clay, play with toys, pretend, play outside, work together, tell stories, go for walks. Structured programs can over-stress kids, Grandma will do it differently, but just as well.

Daycare all the way. Your daughter will learn so much from being around other children. She needs this social interaction. Grandma can still see her when she's not in school. I'm sure your mom will understand. Your daughter will be getting the best of both worlds now!

I think if your daughter is loving the daycare and the interaction, then that is a good place for her, especially at her age. Is it possible for her to be in daycare part time, 3 or 4 days, and your mom watch her a day or two?

The answer to this question really depends on what grandma's health is really like. I think if she is capable of watching your daughter she should. Little kids are only little kids for a very short time. There is no need to get ready for pre-K. I have 6 children and none of them have ever gone to daycare or preschool..three of them never even went to kindergarten! There will be many, many years of school, why start so young? Let your daughter hang out with grandma while grandma can still watch her and before she starts her days of school and homework and friends.

Mominpink, you had 6 children. They were getting a lot of social interaction at home with each other, learning to share and negotiate etc. This is a very important part of social development and an only child does not have the same advantages. Children learn a great deal through watching each other. That is called social learning.

I agree with Junie. Also, this is about what the child needs, not what grandma wants.


hi, there are different ways of day caring and still including grandma. My son and his daughter are considering part time day care and part time family care. Maybe your daughter could go to Pre-K 4 out of 5 days week and stay with grandma one day/week plus sick days? I can appreciate you wanting mom's happiness in the situation but you're right, this is about your daughter, not her. I think if she loves your daughter as much as it seems she will be able to see how Pre-K would benefit your daughter after some time. They'll have so much more to share and talk about later. I wouldn't suggest grandma volunteering at Pre-K till you are absolutely sure this wouldn't become a controlling situation - mom trying to call the shots and be totally in charge of your daughter while she's there. just my 2 cents worth