Crying Toddler - FamilyEducation
Crying Toddler
04/11/2008 at 18:25 PM

How do I deal with a little girl who cries, when you tell her "NO".  We are not talking about pouty little whining, but full on crying with tears!  She will stop if she gets what she wants.  I do not typically indulge her on this, but I feel she is getting this from her other parents.  I NEVER had this issue with my boys.

Offer her a drink of water. Ask her if she is hurt, with the attitude that something must be hurting for her to cry so hard. If she keeps having a tantrum, make sure she is safe and turn your attention to something else. After a couple of minutes, ask her if she is finished crying. If she isn't, let her go for a few more minutes. Explain that it is hard for you to understand her when she is crying. And just resist. She can learn that she cannot manipulate you. Kids really like to have adults who behave like adults, who don't let them get away with crap. It means that they can trust you, they feel safer.

When you say 'her other parents' I'm not sure what you mean? Can you explain?

She is only 12 months and does not speak yet. She is just a VERY stubborn little girl, and does not like the word no. I have even tried to say it in a different tone and she still wails like you have slapped her...

I really don't know why that is relavant, but it is called DIVORCE.

Divorce is very relavant... Children are people even at 1 year old and they can feel discord. You may be in for a tough experience if you don't consider the strain "DIVORCE" puts on a child and a family. At one year old, you can help this little girl if you want to. Try using a different word than "no" or maybe just distract her from whatever it is you want to say no about. example: She is grabbing your nick nack - pick her up and bring her to another place and offer her a toy... She wants a drink of your beer - get her a drink of juice... She is climbing on the coffee table - pick her up and take her to her toybox to play. She's just a baby, you have so much power. GOOD LUCK!!

Whatever you do, don't give in. But pick your battles too. Don't be nitpicky about every little thing. If she does something that you don't approve of, but it's harmless, I wld just brush it off, and try to distract her w/ something else. If it's a big deal thing, tell her "NO!" in a stern voice, and stick to it. Explain why she shldn't be doing it, so that she can understand. Make sure you're down at her level and looking her right in the eyes when you do this. Then move on to something else. I wld also have a talk w/ the other parents involved b/c if she's not getting disciplined consistently, this will make for a more difficult situation. Kids, even as young as one, are very good at manipulating parents. Tough love is hard, but it's the best thing. I know. I'm living it. Good luck!