Help, Advice, Prayers, Anything! - FamilyEducation
Help, Advice, Prayers, Anything!
08/26/2010 at 19:50 PM

My son who just turned five in June, started Kindergarten this year. Since the first day I have been getting e-mails or phone calls from his teacher regarding him refusing to sit at his desk and learn. Which then turned into knocking over chairs and tables, running out of the classroom, screaming, hiding in the back of the classroom, not lining up when recess is over, and messing up the teachers desk.

All of these actions had me thinking they must be talking about someone else. My son? My kind, outgoing, helpful, sweet, sensitive little man? No, it just can't be. Yet as the weeks went by, the problem just got worse. They started sending him home 2-3 times a week. After the second week of bad behavior, I made an appointment for a psychological and behavioral evaluation for my son. I even called his Pediatrician (who has seen him almost every 2-3 months since he was a baby due to chronic ear infections) His Pediatrician was speechless. She even joked that she thought she had the wrong patient. She always compliments me on how well behaved he is at all his appointments, even if we had to wait for extended periods of time, or if he was running a high fever and in pain.

Anyways...going off track here...

I have tried several methods of punishment on the days he exhibits these poor choices. We talk about how to behave at school on a very regular basis. He sits fine at the table when doing homework or practice work, it's never an issue. I started a sticker chart to reward him for good days at school and for good choices at home. Nothing seems to be getting through to him.

After his third week at school, his teacher asked to have a meeting with the principal, the school counselor and her. Ultimately ending in them "advising" that Landen may be too young to handle their advanced curriculum. After speaking with his father and some close friends and family, I decided to pull him from the school. (It is a special public school that uses very advanced curriculum taught 1 grade level above the grade they are in)

I had a concern of whether he could handle this school due to his chronic ear infections leaving him with limited hearing until he was 2. The ENT said that from a baby until 2 years my son heard everything like he was submerged in water. So it delayed his speech. This is also something I shared with the teacher prior to the year starting when they spent 3 hours with my son doing what they called KIST testing. The only thing they advised me to work on after the testing, was him writing his full first and last name. Which he mastered within a week or so. He now writes all the capital and lowercase letters correctly and does it without using a guide. So I was a little frustrated that they were surprised when my son couldn't write and read all of the letters in the alphabet and 1-10. I thought they were supposed to be learning this in Kindergarten? No??

So to make a long story short...well shorter...he started the following Monday at a public school just down the street. After the first day, the problems started again. Although his teacher (who has 10+ years experience teaching Kindergarten at my son's school) seems much more positive about the situation. She has ideas, and really is compassionate about doing whatever she has to. Which is something the other teacher (who was in her 2nd year teaching) had zero patience and made it clear she wanted my son out of the classroom from the beginning.

I would really appreciate any help, advice, prayers, anything really!

If it is okay with the teacher, and if you have the flexibility, it might be a good idea for you to volunteer in the classroom for an hour a couple of days a week. You could be doing other support for the teacher, I'm sure she could think of things for you to do, and seeing what sets your son off. Have they done any intervention to improve his hearing or help him cope? I took my son to a speech therapist during kindergarten, which helped his problems some.

I feel for you. My son had a tough time in kindergarten last year. This school year things are much better. Aside from having him evaluated and taking him to therapy, we offered a lot of incentives (blatant bribery) for him to do well, and it worked for the most part. He had good days and bad days, this year the good far outweighs the bad. This year he's more mature, he's at a new school, he's happy and he's doing well. So it does get better! Good luck and God bless.