Help! 14 yr old neice move in with DH and I
07/22/2010 at 15:43 PM

Hi,

A little background.... DH (38) and I (32) have no children. My bnl and snl asked us to let dn move in with us, snl is very ill, and is in and out of the hospitial. She will be traveling out of country quite a bit for alterntive treatments. Also, they bnl/snl have a very disfuntctional relationship. They want 14 yr old to have a more stable "homelife". We are thrilled to be able to help in any way, and since they live in another state they have pretty much given us full authority in every matter.

We've been the "cool" aunt and uncle up until now. But now that she has moved in with us, how do we transition from fun filled weekends to real day to day life?

In patricular...
Rules? she is a great kid, and we don't think we'll have any major issues, but still, there should be rules... what are your's?

curfew? again, great kid, very involed in church actvities, but what time is reasonable to expect her home?

allowance? How much? etc... we'd love to start her on an allowance (she's never gotten one) to help teach her about money managment/ budgeting... How much per week/month and what should she have to purchase for herself?

chores? what should she be responsible for? and should her allowance be based on chores, or should the chores be considered "family duties?" and the allowance completly sep?

We fell like we've jumped into the deep end of a pool, only to relize hey, we don't know how to swim! Any advice would be great!