UNREAL!! - FamilyEducation
05/15/2013 at 16:52 PM

My parents have 8 grandchildren. I have the 2 oldest grandchildren. I brought my kids up with respect. They always kiss my mom and shake hands with my dad. They do same is done with family members. I have 2 nephews who are very disrepectful and my parents think they are the greatest kids ever! Always bragging about them and giving them things behind her own kids backs. Nothing is ever said about what she gives them. Makes me sick. My mom will always talk good about these 2. Never tells anyone when they fail at school, get in trouble, etc. She will always defend them. If any of the other grandkids, she can't wait to tell everyone about their wrongdoings. This has done on for years. Both of these 2 disrespectful kids have been in Catholic schools since Kindergarten, believe it or not. They are now 16 and 13. My mom seems to forget that she has my name on her bank account. I have a personal account in the same bank and also have online banking. Now I have access to BOTH accounts. Amazing the checks that I see being made out by my mom for those 2 unruly boys! I found out that she wrote a check out for $100 for these 2 boys' father for his 50th birthday. This guy is a total loser in the family. He has not held a job since we met him. My parents are always talking bad about him, but then give him money for his birthday?? Then I see her writing checks out for cash that my sister (rude boys' mom) signs the back of. So who knows what the money is for. The straw that broke the camel's back was that it was Mother's Day. I had my parents over as usual because none of my sister's would interrupt their day. I am the only daughter that does anything for my parents. My sisters only call my parents when the need them to pick up kids, stay with them when they are sick from school. When they stopped in to see my mom, I noticed my nephew and my mom whispering as usual. Then he went over to her purse and was standing there for a minute or so with his back toward everyone. I knew something underhanded was going on. Sure enough, I checked my online account and saw that my mom wrote a check for $500 for that unruly kid's driving school classes!!! Of course she never told anyone that she did that. She didn't pay for either of my kids' driving school when they were 16. I am so disgusted with what is going on. My sister and her husband get everything handed to them. Their house is paid off by her inlaws. All of her cars are paid off by her inlaws. As you already read, my parents are helping them with checks that are written out to them. Why is this only being done for these certain grandchildren??? I am so sick to my stomach over this. Those kids are so disrespectful. Everyone sees it and makes comments. My parents will laugh their disrespect off and say they are only joking, which is BS. My sons would never think of talking to my parents, or any other family member the way those kids do. As big as my sons are, they even said, "If we ever talked to grandma & grandpa like that, we would catch a slap from both of them and you and Daddy! My 2 other sisters see all of this too. Their children are never bragged about either. Both of my sons graduated from college with degrees. My parents were'nt bragging about that. Only hear about when one of the 2 unruly ones get honors in school. They have the nerve to come to my house and complain about the mom of these 2 kids, stating that she should stay home with these kids instead of going out with her friends all the time. I told them, "and if I say anything, everyone thinks I am jealous of her, which will never happen. Who the hell wants a life like hers? A loser husband who can't hold a job and two disrespectful kids? I am happily married for 30 years. My husband owns a business, both of my boys graduated college with degrees and good paying jobs. I really am disgusted. My parents have 8 grandchildren. Not 2. Did she not think I would find out any of this?

Angla, I kinda can relate to your story my grandparents are the same way I have one set of cousins that are the same way. One of them is 22 and him and his wife and 4 kids live with my grandparents in a three bed room trailer. Even though he works on a oil rig my Grandma is always helping them with money and stuff.She helps all of my cousins and my family with money and claim they can't do anything wrong, but yet my family is black sheeps of the family. They don't talk to me much or our kids and we live like 1/2 mile from them,I think that has somthing to do with the fact that we speak our minds about how they treat my grandparents.I only hear from them when they need help with something. Cause even though they help everyone with money none of them will help them when they need something. Me and my husband stand on our own two feet and don't ask anyone for help.Our kids are the same way as your boys besides they are girls and they are only 15 and 12.

I don't really have any advise for you, but just wanted tell you to pat yourself and your husband on the back cause it sound like you have raised two great and respectful sons, that will have good life. As for your mom maybe she does the things she does cause she felling sorry for the boys cause they don't have good parents as role models so she thinks by giving them everything she making up for their parents mistakes.Maybe she sees all the stuff that the other grandkids have and don't want them to feel left out, since their parents can't give it to them. Hope things get better for you.

I just want to say that the 2 unruly boys must have not had a good upbringing by their parents and the relation between the two of them may not have been very cordial. Its just a thought I would say. But yes, if you do interfere in all this you would be made the bad guy. But still I would like you to talk to your mother alone, without anyone's presence. and ask her for her favors done to the unruly boys. Also tell her that she may continue to help them while ensuring that their own (your parents') future is not affected economically or emotionally.