He has always done this, but yesterday my father took doing "favors" for his kids to a whole new level. I had an appointment with a plumber to fix a disposal at some rental property, but he had an emergency and couldn't show. My dad offered to come check it out. He spent less than a minute on the disposal and went to his next appointment. He's a handyman, so he makes his living doing that kind of thing, but normally he'll only let us pay for materials or for his assistant's time. When he left, he said he was writing that one off since it was so easy.
Last night we had a family game night at my house. One of my nephews knocked my dad's cap off in a game the two have laughed about many times in the past. But without warning this time, my dad blew up, yelled at the six year old with both his parents sitting right there, then put his hand on the boy's head and gave his a stern push. It wasn't enough to hurt him, and my nephew laughed. He didn't understand what was going on, but his dad (my dad's son) said, "Don't ever touch one of my kids in anger again." Prior to the cap incident, everything was fine, but after that and my brother taking up for his son, the two began fighting. My brother kept his voice down, but my dad was seething and yelling and saying things like "I'd die for those boys, but I won't sit here and let them act like that."
It was my house and we had non-family company (who my dad invited), so I stepped in and said I'd appreciate it if they'd keep their voices down and that this wasn't the time for that, plus I reminded them that children were still present and that I didn't want bickering in my house, especially not on "family night."
My father refused to speak to anyone the rest of the night, and he finally ducked out when he realized most of us weren't really willing to make an effort to talk to him. We have a situation like this at least once or twice a year, and I guess this is just how my family has learned to deal with him.
At 11:30 last night (about the time it took him to get home) he sent me an invoice for a job he told me would be $800, but the invoice was for over $1100, and this morning he sent me one for the work he did on the disposal. I paid the first one, because I know it was mostly for his worker's time, but the one the work on the disposal was a "trip charge." It's not the money I mind. It's the idea that he's using the invoice to punish me for expecting him to act civil in my house and in front of our company. It's also the fact that HE ruined the family game night and is invoicing me for his behavior.
Any advice how to proceed?
(Yes, I know not to let him do me any more favors!!)