Ever since my son was born, I've been having increased issues with my mother-in-law. She constantly criticizes how I take care of him and ignores my instructions when I have had to leave him in her care. She has put him on the couch with pillows surrounding him for naps (when she has watched him for us) and goes in the other room. We have told her so many times that we are not comfortable with that arrangement. I have caught her doing it multiple times since then. She keeps trying to give him food that he his body is not ready for. She will suggest it to me, I will tell her that he can't have that particular item (i.e. cookies, ice cream, gravy, guacamole - he is only 8 months old). She will not respond to my answer and then suggest the same thing to my husband in front of me. He will tell her "no," but it still has not deterred her for doing this every time we are at her house. She actually gave my son guacamole when I wasn't looking the other day. My husband caught her and told her not to do that again. I just don't know what else to do to make her behavior change. I have told my husband that he needs to tell her that she cannot babysit anymore if she continues to disregard our instructions, but he feels like he would be hurting her feelings if he followed through that threat.
Also, we just told my husband's family that I am pregnant again. We told them the names we have ready for the baby (we are set for boy or girl). She didn't say much when I gave them the names, so I knew she didn't necessarily like them, but I don't really care what she thinks. But, then she pulls my husband aside to say, "So what names do YOU want?" He told her that we both agree on the names and we both like them. She then said that if he really didn't like the names, he could tell me that and can choose whatever names he truly likes. This bothered me, but she said none of this to me, so I was just going to let it go. Then she emailed my husband a list of other names, and then she called him to say that he should look into more names from HIS side of the family. This really angered me because my son's first name is from my husband's side (and his middle name is my maiden name). The middle name if we have a boy would be my mother-in-law's maiden name. If we have a girl, the first name is of neither side, and the middle name is my grandma's maiden name. I just don't see how my side of the family is overpowering here... And to top it all off, she emailed the rest of my husband's extended family in England and told them that we were expecting a baby (when we would have enjoyed telling them ourselves), and she complained to them about our name choices.
I just feel hurt, overwhelmed and frustrated. I have been stressing out about all these things, and I don't know how to "let it go" or just relax. I had a miscarriage before my pregnancy with my son, and I'm very early on in this pregnancy. I just don't need the extra stress. I need to figure out the best and quickest way to handle this situation.
Does anyone have any suggestions?