HELP - FamilyEducation
10/01/2007 at 21:17 PM

I am new to this board and am having a hard time accepting that my son is "highly gifted" (as the books say) I see an adorable 6 year old whose funny, sweet, lovable, and ok he carries around a talking dictionary for fun.  He was tested after a perfect score on his SESAT and yes the psychologist was impressed.  I'm not sure if anyone out there is having a hard time with the "diagnosis" as I am but I feel a lot of pressure not to let the little guy down. Now, to my problem: he is in a great school but the homework he comes homework is a joke.  I have a meeting with his teacher on Friday so I need advice on how to explain his needs without seeming like a pushy mom who thinks her son is "special".  I am just scared that the fun is going to wear off and he is going to get board with school because he is not challenged.

Any suggestions appreciated

Hey momi,


Welcome to the boards.  I would say that your best bet is to get him some workbooks and other activities for him to do if he gets bored with his homework so that he can challenge himself.  If he is not bored with school right now, I wouldn't worry about it until he expresses that he is bored.  Let him read on his own, let him explore his interests on his own and encourage his learning!




You are right to worry about the "pushy mom" label. It's usually best to let the teacher come to the conclusion first that your child may need more. But if he has already been identified as gifted, then it shouldn't be as touchy. Is he already in a gate class? It's early in the school year, and most teachers seem to start with the easy stuff to see where everyone is at. Also to see if there are any gaps in knowledge. If this is the first meeting of the year, you may not want to say too much, and just get a feel for how you think the teacher plans to tackle his needs. It seems harmless enough though, to ask if there are any special projects or things he can do for extra credit if he should want to. That way it is open ended and up to your son. I do believe it is important for gifted kids to be challenged, though, because often if it is too easy the first few years, they don't have the skills or patience when it gets challenging later. They can become so use to having it always come easy, that it can make them feel "stupid" when the are finally challenged. So if you don't feel that school is challenging him, it might be good to give him little challenges on the side ... which don't have to be academic. On the highly gifted point ... does he have a lot of the sensitities and intensities that are common for highly gifted?


Your advice is very helpful.  I do agree that it is early in the year and they are trying to get a feel for all the children's abilities.  He is in a Montessori school so the upper lessons are available to him.  My concern is exactly what you said that he is used to everything being easy so the day that he doesn't understand something will be a rude awakening.  At home we do alot of stimulating activities because like all gifted children he does require a constant stream of information. As far as his giftedness characteristics, yes he does fit the list.  Luckly, for me, his IQ number  is within the "social norm" level.  He easily makes friends and is well liked.  I will be patient and continue to feed him at home and maybe present some challenges so we can work on his ability to challenge himself without feeling "stupid" when he doesnt get it immediately. Again I thank you both for responding.  This is a difficult topic because it is one that you cannot talk to your friends about.  Moms (friends) can be very sensitive to listening to "problems" facing a mom who has a gifted child.  Even when my friends comment on "how smart" he is I proceed with caution.  My friends know that he is different from their kids but I dont think they REALLY want to hear all the details.  I am so thankful for a place to voice my concerns without judgement and without feeling like I am bragging.



Hi Momi Wow - I can relate! My daughter is 20 months and I feel so 'out' of my crowd because I can't talk to anyone about what she's doing... I can't share my concerns about schooling or her intense reactions to things. I get frustrated by not being able to talk honestly about her needs and am frustrated on your behalf that you can't just come straight out and tell your son's teacher how you feel... Strongs - hope everything works out and your little tyke remains happy and content, and that you get the support you deserve. Ursh.

I was a "nerd" in school. Because it was something negative to everyone else I became friends with only a small group of people. Other kids would tease me for everything.. As a result I started to hide my intelligence (not turning in work or pretending that I didn't know the answers.. taking low level math when I was doing algebra at home) Now I am 26 years old with a gifted 7 year old and I am once again hiding the fact that he is smart because my friends and some family members don't want to hear it or ridicule me for being egotistical.. what the crap?

Please don't hide your son's gift. I know it's a hard thing realizing your child is different, but how can your son be comfortable w/ himself if he feels he has to hide all the time? Stay away from those ignorant people who have no clue and no right to even voice their opinion. Surround yourself w/ caring individuals who understand and accept your son for who he is. Look into groups in your area for gifted children and their families. It's often helpful to get advice and compare stories w/ these parents. Also, this wld be a great way for your son to meet other gifted children his age. Mostly, though, at home and outside of school, try to normalize your son's life as much as possible. Get him involved in different activities he enjoys doing. Organize play dates for one on one social interaction. Go to the park on nice days. All these things are important. Just don't let the ignorant people get you down. They're not worth your time or energy.