Feeling bad about my body
12/26/2007 at 21:12 PM

Im elven and I feel really bad about what I eat and the amount of exersise I get. I way 162 and I am 5ft 6". No boys like me because either I'm 2 times their height or 2 times their body weight I also am not good friends with any girls in my grade or really at all. My best friends are guys.I'm in 6th grade and my guy friends are in eighth grade. Sympathy empathy or advice any response will help.

Apart from your weight, how is your health?  To manage your heart health, your digestive system, and your mood, the very best things you can do are to 1. walk for at least 1/2 hour every day, 2.  drink water, 3  eat veg. and whole grains.  If you are a girl, this also helps with menstruation issues. 

If your health is good, the friendships and admiration will come in good time.  If you are eleven and already concerned about boys "liking" you, when your best friends are boys, then you do need to focus on other things.  Don't worry about boyfriends until the boys you like have full-time jobs, OK?  Spend your energy on finding out the things to do that are fun for you, that you have the talent and interest to get really good at.

cid
3290

Thanks, Gail

I'll definitly try it. About the boy deal. There is this one boy who makes fun of me becuse of my weight and then he pretends he likes me I don't get it?

cid
3299

I think that if he wants to talk about you with your or his friends around then when no one is around he likes you he may really like you and to afraid of what other people think or he is just trying to play with your emotions. Obviously he isn't a descent person and you dont need him hang out with people that respect you all of my friends are skinny but I'm not but they still like me for who I am and I love my friends for that! I thought I had the same problem when I was your age I'm only a little bit older but I still know what you are going through. Just be yourself and if people don't like it then its on them because you are going to live your life happy and proud there is nothing that they can do to stop you!!!!

cid
3303

You can't let other people set your agenda.  Figure out what is important to you, now and in your own future, ( and who is important to you, like your family, long-term friends, older people in your neighborhood/church group) and spend your energy on those things.  You have no control over other peoples' behavior. 

cid
3309

I know but it is hard not to get my feelings hurt because I already don't like how I look and when other people point it out its like omg they notice it too and then it becomes something I feel is a big deal.

cid
3314

I know but it is hard not to get my feelings hurt because I already don't like how I look and when other people point it out its like omg they notice it too and then it becomes something I feel is a big deal.

cid
3315

Hello MJL9334,

           I know that it is hard to try to not eat junk food. But the only thing that i think might help is to not eat chips, candy, or drink pop because those three things will put weight you. The other thing that might help is to try to eat fruit and vegs rather than other food. White bread is not good either wheat bread is the best for your health. I know how you feel i'm 14 and weigh 170 so... what i do is just cut 500 calories day. If you was to do that then u can lose a pound a week. I don't want u 2 think i was being mean or anything i just would like the best 4 u.

cid
3320

thanx sunshine,

I know what food is healther and all that jazz but the hard part for me is getting exersize.I want to find a way to fit it in because i know i have to but bad habits are hard to break and i like sports but teams always make me feel bad because other kids make make fun of me because im not very good.

cid
3322

It doesn't matter what other proplr thinks about u sweety. All that matters is GOD loves you. About the excerise thing maybe ran up and down stairs for like 10mins or less or maybe go to the bike trail with friends and just ran and play cuz believe or not when u r playing and not even trying to loose weight u do! I wouldn't care what poeple think of me I would particpate in any school activity when ever i get the chance.

cid
3368

I'm very familiar with what you are feeling.  In 5th grade I was wearing a size 12 in Women's clothing.  The only friends that I had were guys, with the exception of one girl.  I hated my body and everything about me.  This self-esteem issue lead to a lot of bad decisions that I regret and can't take back.  I am 33 and currently wear a size 4, but I'm still haunted by the 5th grader in me!!! Do your parents know how you feel?  If they don't, communicate this to them.  You will need their support.  I feel that if you do not change your lifestyle habits  (friends, eating habits (not dieting), physical health- excersice, etc.) in order to be able to change the way you feel about yourself, you may end up making mistakes and regretting them.  You will not have healthy relationships unless you love yourself.  If you do not/ can not love yourself the way you are, you & only you have the power to change it.  You MUST do that now while you are young.  You have to think about & start making plans/goals your future.  Worrying & thinking about boys will only deter you from reaching any of your goals; especially stay away from older boys at your age right now.  Fix you first, then let any relationship that may happen with a boy happen; when it's meant to be.  I know it's much easier for me to tell you this than to actually do it, but I know what you are going through.  Famous last saying, "If I knew then what I know now!!!". 

cid
3377

Everyone here is so helpful thank u,

I have been getting better and I have already lost 5 pounds since I started this board.Thank u all so much. Has anyone seen any good work out videos for my age group or heard a creative way to get active because its starting to get boring.

cid
3384

I am so proud of you!  And you are keeping it up even though it has already started to get boring, that is AMAZING. 

some ideas for that,  ride a bike, listen to music or audiobooks, go with your mom or sibling or friend, memorize poetry, make it a hike someplace new, find out about meditation and make it a time for meditation

also--look into finding a less organized sport, something where winning is less important than participating.  OR, sign up for a dance class, ballet or modern.  Richard Simmons isn't everybody's cup of tea, but his exercise videos are good, if you like him. 

You are the BEST

 

cid
3389

I live in california and were having bad weather does anyone have any ideas that dont require electricity or to go out side?

cid
3406

Dance! it is easier with music for 10 minutes. That's easier to tell with a clock.

cid
3411

thanx for all the help everyone! I noticed lately that most of wat used to be fat is now muscel thanx a bunch.

cid
3666

Guess what? I just joined a dance class at my old dance studio. I'm taking jazz! I'm not as skinny or flexible as the other girls, but im getting there. I have always loved to sing, dance, and act, I just needed this opportunity to get back in to dance class.

cid
4230

Glad you are feeling a bit better about yourself now and good luck with the dance classes. I had thought of taking up belly dancing classes as they are supposed to be very good for fitness. Might get round to it eventually.

cid
4233

You totally should take up belly dancing. My mom does and she has taught me some of the dance moves.

cid
5456

I just bought a bathing suit today b/c the one from last yr doesn't fit me anymore. My son has a pool party to go to tomorrow, and I don't know everyone who will be there. Also, my son's only 4, so I need to go w/ him in the pool. I think I'll bring a lg t-shirt, and then start my diet next wk. Ahhhh!!!!

cid
5510

I'm with you on that. I need help big time. I just can't get motivated. I exercise well but I sure don't eat well. That's my problem.

cid
6292

Hi there, Debbiedoo,
I'm the opposite. When I'm motivated and have the time to prepare healthy meals, I eat well. The problem is getting the energy to exercise. My kids keep me on the go, and sometimes my husband and I will take walks, but I still feel I need more. You're right, though. The key is to have the motivation to do it. If you're not mentally ready, it's really hard to give yourself that push. I found that eating a a lot of raw veggies and cutting down on quantity has helped me in the past. How about you? Any pointers?

cid
6335

hey, don't let anyone tell you that you aren't beautiful, because i know that we have a god that thinks we are perfect no matter what. "charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the lord is to be praised." psalm 31.

just remember that.

cid
16209

It requires lots of patience to reduce weight with daily exercise.All the best.

cid
17268

I WAS ALSO TALL IN 6 GRADE AND I HAD THE SAME PROBLEM I STARTED DIFFERENT HOBBIES LIKE READING, BIKE RIDING, MUSIC FIND SOMETHING THAT YOU ARE GOOD AT AND STICK WITH IT OR FIND SOMETHING NEW BUT PLEASE NEVER FEEL BAD YOU ARE PRETTY AND EVERYTIME YOU LOOK IN THE MIRRIOR SAY I LOVE ME TODAY AND I AM PRETTY

cid
21531

If you can type me back and tell me more I will do something for you. do it right now type

cid
21553

I think it's more on self discipline..Well you have to control your appetite and limit your cravings for those foods that are no good for your health..On the other hand, if you're concern about "admiration" thing, I don't think you have to mind about that because you know you are still young and there are a lot of things which you can enjoy aside from that.

celine

cid
22558

Exercise is the best medicine. Helps with stress, weight, confidence and health!
Eat FRESH foods like fresh fruits and fresh veggies. Lots of water! Pop alone, if you have 1 can every day, you would gain 15 pounds in that year. Eliminate empty calories... no pop, no chips, very rarely sweets... No fast food. Eat like a european. Pasta, bread, rice,....starches are good. They give you energy that your body needs, but you have to exercise to eat starches.
Eliminate butter when cooking... use olive oil instead...it is a healthy fat, like nuts and olives. FRESH FOOD IS KEY with EXERCISE. I turn 30 next week and most people think I'm in my early twenty's. Live like you are in Europe and you can't go wrong...
FACT: The average European walks 5 miles in 1 day. The average American walks 1/4 of a mile in 1 day. Check this out : http://www.eufic.org/article/en/page/RARCHIVE/expid/food-based-dietary-guidelines-in-europe/ GOOD LUCK!!! :)

cid
22692

Walking... works good if done often. Fun options: workout DVD's : Bellydancing with veena and neena. Hawaiian Hula, New York City ballet, Bangrah. Working out in your house , you need not worry about your appearance...

cid
22695

no electricity? ... use a balance ball... fun and good for you :)

cid
22698