What happened to sharing and compromising in a marriage? - FamilyEducation
What happened to sharing and compromising in a marriage?
03/10/2011 at 15:11 PM

Men, husbands, boyfriends, whatever you choose to be. My husband and I have our difference on how to spend our money. I of course, come from a family that values money and choose to spend it wisely. All he knows is that he works hard and therefore he spend it on toys, games, and entertainment.
So we are trying to save money for our new house. We had a discussion about giving up television. He said I couldn't live without my t.v. because all the reality shows I watched. He watches all his sports and drama. Our cable bill is about almost $100. I think that is ridiculous! I kept on telling him to fix it or else I will. I decided to down graded our cable to a lesser payment. I did call him to tell what I did. Well come on, we have internet and he got his driod phone.

This could also start off "Women, wives, girlfriends". Being irresponsible with money is more about priorities than gender. My new wife had a hard time getting used to me always wanting to save money. I don't care to live paycheck to paycheck if I do not need to. I like the comfort of knowing that I have money in the bank, and now she does too. For several years I put off buying anything extra for myself while I worked to get us financially stable again. Everything I bought I asked myself if I wanted it, or needed it. The thought of buying myself something and then needing that money for one of the kids or an emergency was always in the back of my mind.

My soon to be ex husband is also a spender. He could not get used to me being a saver and him not being able to continue to spend like he did when he was single. This was the major cause of conflict in our marriage. A few months after he found out he was going to get money from the sale of his late father's house, he quit his job. Because of the real estate slump, the house did not sell, it still took 7 months for him to return to work and then it was part time. My many attempts at explaining how quickly the money would evaporate was not enough to get him back to full time work. Even me having the cable and his beloved high speed internet discontinued made no difference. He was insistent he should not have to work full time when there was money on the horizon. (The house still has not sold.) Unless both partners have the same financial values, there will be difficulties.

Without compromising and sharing married life can't progress.

The bottom line has to be discussion and agreement from both parties in a marriage or relationship. We all have our own values and yes, compromise is important for a happy relationship. I like to know that we have money set aside for emergencies, but it is nice every so often to spend a little of our hard earned cash on a little bit of luxury.