Trying to bring back the past @ the good part neway (NO mean posts please....) - FamilyEducation
Trying to bring back the past @ the good part neway (NO mean posts please....)
06/22/2008 at 14:54 PM

I and the parent of my child had been together for 4 yrs when my "significant other" decided that it be best for them to continue their "pattern of leave and go". Our son is 2 and will be 3 in August. The person they are "with" now just so happens to be the same "person" the other parent left me for 2 times before. It appears as if since WE had our child in 2005 that the other parent has begun acting immaturely. I.E. Joining gangs, getting arrested, smoking marijuana... Now we've had an awesome past together before the birth of our son, but we have been apart for 1 yr and 3 mos. The other parent never says they miss me. They say they missed what we had. They miss what we used to do and always bring sup the past. The person they are w/ now has cheated on them numerous times and even gave them an std. Has kicked them out and not to mention is 8 yrs their senior. Has no place to stay and works at a local market that is being shut down. I'm not trying to put them down but the parent of our child also is on ssi and probation. Anyway me and the other parent are in no relationship but after 8 mos of being seperated have become sexually reunited once again. I have stopped this but I still want to get bakc with them. They still live together but are struggling to stay where they are. The other parent gets jealous and htreatens me when I go out . if they think I am out w/ someone they'll try to call CPS on me. Crazy but signs they still care. They always want to talk but they're still w/ their significant other. There's no chance of reconciliationis it? Did I mention we're only 22.

You said you have a 2, soon-to-be 3 year-old child.

In anything you do now, your child should be your priority. Your child needs to feel loved, safe and secure.

"has begun acting immaturely. I.E. Joining gangs, getting arrested, smoking marijuana..."
If I understand correctly, the above was referring to parent of your child. This is not what you want your child exposed to.

You are both very young, and I think need time for personal growth and to mature. Unfortunately, your child is here and needs your immediate attention, too. Do you have someone in your life, like you own parents, perhaps, who are there to help you as you raise your child?

Put your focus on living your life to make everything good for your son or daughter. If you do this, then decisions you make about anything will be the right one.


Wow, sounds like a really sticky situation.

Honey, I tried to follow your post, but just couldn't put it all together to help you with a reply. Not sure who's who...maybe you could clarify.

My advice to you is to break away from the childs father (Of course, I'm assumning gender here)... You would serve yourself and your child better if you concentrated on self improvement. You don't seem to value yourself as much as you should. You exposed yourself to an std and you allow this man to go back and forth with another lover. If you change your focus and only think about what is best and healthy for you and your child then everything else will fall into place. It is very hard to forget about someone when you believe you love them, but TRUST ME, you will understand true love WHEN it comes to you. Just keep focused on self improvement and things will begin to change. It can be just tiny little changes like starting a fitness routine or taking a class at the rec. center. Don't stay stuck in this disfunctional cycle or you will never experience the true happiness that comes from accomplishment and pride.