starting over - FamilyEducation
starting over
07/27/2009 at 12:50 PM

im going to be 38 soon im waiting to find out if im pregnant in a week i might know ,i have other children that are so wonderful .during my other pregnancies my ex took the baby during the fun times and left me with the bottle feedings the fussy and messy diaper baby he even took them on mothersday to his moms and since i refused to go that meant my kids spent mothers day with his mom instead of with their mom !!! now my kids are all older and i have been raising them all alone after my ex walked many years ago and has never seen them since .I have decided to at this time in my life i had been forced to miss out on all the good in the first part of my other kids life that i would like to for once enjoy being pregnant and giving birth ,taking care of my baby the good and not so good parts i feel like i was cheated in the past in order to do this with support from my family and kids i decided on a sperm bank many of my friends are supporting me but i have one who is telling people things about me and my family now i do not see anything wrong with this choice i have made i have the money to support another child im not on walfare so i dont see as it is her right to say anything .i have tried to be nice to her but i dont need the stress im almost to the point where i want to tell her to leave me and my family alone and never say anything to her again this will be hard because our kids are close and i wouldnt want it to mess up the friendships they have but knowing her like i do she will let i feel like im stuck .

Since you can emotionally and financially support another child and your children and family are supportive, then do it. You may have to let this friendship go. No one has the right to pass judgement on your choices. I know how you feel, spending holidays alone and yearning to have a child all the time, not just part time. My ex left me also, for another woman to whom he is still married. They had my children for many Mother's Days and other holidays. I did not have the courage to do what you are doing for fear of what my family, friends and employers would think and say, and have many regrets. You are doing a good thing. I wish you the best of luck and hope you are successful. Let us know the outcome and know that you are being supported by someone who admires you and knows what you are going through.

Thank You so much ,as of right now im either getting my AF or im having implantation bleeding so at this time i dont know anything i just wish i did know one way or other but if this is not and it is my AF then i will not give up i will once again be having a date with my doctor and the frozen .i plan to not give up and knowing others really support me gives me that much more reason ,my kids are wonderful they even bought me a couple of baby things very sweet . They also ask me well ?? every time i go to the bathroom which is kinda funny at times i do know one thing that this future baby if we are lucky to get will be so loved by all ! as for the friend i have decided if she can not be a true friend and stand with me then she may have to become a friend instead of a best friend .as for our kids i have talked to them about this problem with myself and my friend and they agree that at this time i need support not someone putting negative thoughts around me .I pray i have the sweet baby i want already but if not i will not give up .

Good for you! The decision you're making is a personal one, and in no way shld others be putting their 2 cents in. I think you have great kids who admire you and support you. It's b/c of you that they're the way they are, and you shld be proud of yourself and them. I'm sure whatever happens, you will find happiness from those who truly love and care for you. As for your so-called friend, you can do w/out her right now. If she's truly a friend, she will realize what she's done, and she will apologize for her actions. Your children seem to be very understanding and mature about your decisions. Embrace what you have--you're very fortunate. I wish you all the best in your endeavors to become pregnant. A new baby is such a blessing no matter how you look at it. It sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders, and after all you've been through in your past, you deserve to be happy. Good luck!

I would say let the "friend" go because she is gossiping about you, not speaking to you. If she was courageous enough to tell you to your face that your decision troubles her, then that would be a good friend, and one I would work hard to keep.