Hello, I am new this forum but I would like to share and would like to hear some feedback about my marriage life.
I am asian woman and been in States for 3 yrs now. I met my husband through online dating site, he went to my country once and we've had talking each other for couple years and finding him out a nice guy. So let's make the story short, we fall in love each other until he brought me over here(states). The first month of us living together, I found out a lot of lies and he was treated me badly. I got pregnant after 6 months later, he never been there throughout my pregnancy until I gave birth, just basically on my own and had culture shock too, so it was really hard. I don't like his family because they are all gossiping about my culture what kind of people we are, and he told me that his family gossiping about me, that blah blah blah, it hurt my feelings and he even defending his family, he is not in my side no matter what his family saying to his wife.
Honestly, since in the beginning I don't wanna live with him so bad, he just put a big hole in my heart, it's been wounded like forever, I'll stay for him for the sake of my baby and I just could'nt leave, I was scared where am going, the money, I have nothing, no friends, nothing. A year ago, I have been founding out that he is not recovering yet from his previous marriage, he is still very depressed and crying and hurts from his ex, and he told me before I met him he was divorced a long time ago but the truth is he was just divorced when I came up and they get together even a week before I came up which is for me, not right.
I have been confused and what to do until now, it's been three years but i still have a hard time for making decisions because I have nowhere to go, no money that's all keep holding me back.
My husband don't have respect with me at all until this time, I caught him looking private pictures of his ex-wife, for me that is very disrespectful for me. He always told me that he is gonna kill himself if I leave but I don't care what he says, If I have the money, enough money I am sure I am not with him anymore.
It's been a big impact on my life, losing my confidence, everything changed my life. All I do is just taking care of my child and roaming around in our home, but my depression hits me all of the sudden sometimes, until right now, still feeling confused, don't know what to do. I am losing interests and hope but what keeps me going is my child.
Anyone help me.........any advice would be appreciated... I just don't have friends to talk too, NO ONE... even my own husband is not there ... never........